Important Scientific Research!

A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Local Man "violated" by alien implement!

News to hand!
Local man reports being abducted by an alien being posing as a doctor and is then violated by an instrument he calls "an anal probe" before being released many miles from home.
Mr X ( name witheld to protect identity ) says that he will never be the same after his encounter with an indescribable alien species.
Mr X says that he was firstly transported to another dimension where he found himself in "some sort of sterile environment where I was approached from behind by this crazed animal with what looked liked an oversized dildo which was then placed in a very sensitive area of my body, which I cannot mention as it is still too raw a memory for me".
Mr.X continued his extraordinary tale by stating that the alien then proceeded to extract pieces of flesh from him to use in experimentations on board the mother ship.
"I cannot believe that I have lived through this ordeal.
This experience has burnt an indellible memory into my brain."
Mr.X is currently recovering at home receiving loving care from his wife and will not be giving any further interviews at this point.
We are lucky to have received a photo of the "instrument" used in the violation process that Mr.X captured with a digital camera that he just happened to have with him at the time.

Biopsy Day

My darling husband is having a biopsy done today - part of ongoing testing to check a prostate irregularity.
Now, I know it could all be very uncomplicated and simple, but I am also fearful of what we don't know and every time a test is done it seems that we have to wait an enormously painful length of time to find out a result.
I am stressed and jumpy and it's not even happening to me!
The test is a horribly invasive proceedure for a man (us women are used to being poked, scraped, stretched and viewed from totally perverse angles) and I wish he did not have to go through it - but better that he does.
The prostate is one of those ridiculous parts of the body that has such a great significance to a man's health yet they often refuse to address the importance of it until it is too late.
If you have a man you care about and he is over 40, get him to do a simple blood test next time he is having a medical check up and maybe even the "dreaded gloved finger up the sphinxter" just to be sure nothing sinister is not developing.
Sometimes there are sympotms, but sometimes, such as in my husband's case, there aren't and if he had not gone to his local JP and if she had not ordered a simple blood test for him, we would have never known anything was wrong.
I need my darling around for a long time to come - he is my life.....so I know all will be well. I just wish that this all passes quickly.

The Cynic's Dictionary

Got a new book today called "The Cynic's Dictionary" - let me share a few gems!

Clairvoyant - a person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely that he is a blockhead.
Ambrose Bierce.

Children - items that have become so expensive, only the poor can afford them.
Hal Roach.

Doctor - a person who takes out a stethoscope and listens to your wallet.
Anon.

Easter - a national celebration of chocolate.
Mike Barfield

Exercise - what you get when you walk from the front door to your car.
Anon.

Experience - the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Oscar Wilde.

Misfortune - The kind of fortune that never misses.
Ambrose Pierce.

School fair at Bero!

Went to a school fair today - was supposed to do some readings, but somehow it did not work out that way.
We were almost totally ignored! I could actually hear people saying "Don't go over there..don't go over there!"
I thought that I had sufficiently trimmed my horns back enough to be totally unnoticable, but obviously not.
I was waiting for a mini school play of "the Wickerman" to be reproduced around the side of the school hall with us as the main stars!
To say that we felt a bit alienated is to put it mildly..but what can you do.
Never mind....maybe we did charge too much for our readings? I just think no one was willing to get close enough to even see the sign without a wreath of garlic and a wooden stake in their hands.
Another psychic fair next weekend.....we will try again.
I could just see Lisa's face with that "I'm so over it" expression on her face, so when we said, at 12 noon, that we'd had enough - let's go to McDonalds - it was a blessed relief.
It was all good - had a nice morning out.
Thanks Leanne and Deb for comming along too!You are both crack ups!

Sir Richard....we love you!!!

Sir Richard Branson committed about $4 billion ( yes BILLION )to help develop alternatives to fossil fuels and cut green house gas levels around the world.
He also told Australia to "stop dragging the chain" and sign the Kyoto aggreement.
It is only Australia and America that remain world wide wankers in this regard....Can it really be true? Are we finally getting it?
Sir Richard, we love you!!!
Go Virgin! Go Virgin! Go Virgin!

Life is one big, fat guilt trip!

“Guilt is regret for what we’ve done.
Regret is guilt for what we didn’t do.”
Why is guilt such a powerful emotion?
I sometimes feel that everything that I have done in my life has been motivated by feelings of guilt.
And, being the good Libran that I am, I balance that out by feeling guilty whether I DO and also feeling guilty whether I DONT.
When did all this start?
I think I first felt guilty in my mother's womb - that I was unexpected is an understatment!
Then as I was dragged around her life, I just learned to feel guilty about just being alive.So sad eh...well I am guilty here of allowing it to continue - SEE!!!!
And so it progresses..... I still make myself feel terribly guilty about many things that I choose to do and you can reason with yourself that you cannot please everybody blah, blah..but even the fact that you spend time feeling guilty makes you feel guilty cause you could be doing something better with your time.
“Guilt is the source of sorrow, 'tis the fiend, Th' avenging fiend, that follows us behind, With whips and stings" Nicholas Rowe.
Guilt needs the BIG FLICK!

ABUNDANCE AT SPRINGTIME

I am very much focusing on bringing abundance to myself and my family this springtime and am hoping for a chance at renewing my thoughts and wishes at our Ostara ritual this Wednesday night.
It is a time of abundance and good cheer yet there have been many deaths lately that I have heard of - even today a lady who had booked in a reading with me this week had to cancel because of a death within the family.
I remember the passing of my own father at around this time last year and one of my friend's calling me last week to tell me that her husband's dad has also passed that day.This brings me to say that we often want new things to come into our lives but we forget that some of the old has to make way for the new stuff to happen.
It is a time to be SO thankful for every day that we have that is without ill health. All else can be sorted out eventually.
We also need to remember our mother earth and that she supplies us with everything that we have - from the water that we drink and the food that we eat to the shelter that houses us and the air that we breathe.
We have grown used to her just being there - forever giving, forever providing.
Thought I would jog your memory as to how beautiful she is with this pic..

Thought for the night

"I don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat.
"We're all mad here."
Lewis Carroll from
"Alice in Wonderland"

School Disco

My daughter had a school disco to go to a few night's ago.It was a dress up one - "spooks".
She chose to go as .....wait for it......a witch!
How original.
She told me that she wouldn't have to go and buy an outfit as everything she needs is already at home.
One thing she asked me was whether she could wear her pentagram and take her handbag which also has a pentagram on it.
I thought about it for about half a second and said no.
She goes to a catholic school and I told her that I did not want her to have any trouble that night by showing up with "heathen" symbols around her neck.
She understood that "we don't need to be asked any more questions, considering that you have only a few months left at this school, my darling".
I think that they all know anyway, as I turn up everyday to pick up my girl from school in my car which has a pentagram and a sticker saying "witchybitz" on it.
P.S. Those socks she is wearing are mine. Or at least they were. She has now claimed them as her own. They are my most favourite witchy socks.
Must go look for another pair now..

Catholic Emporium left in Turmoil!!!

Yes! It was me!
I walked into the Catholic Emporium today and all was well until I looked at the lady behind the counter and said, "Hello".
She stared at me for a moment ( I must have "witch" written on my forehead ) and she literally recoiled from the front counter as her eyes came to rest on the green man necklace that was hanging around my neck.
"How can I (possibly) help you?" she asked faintly from the back corner of the shop.
"Oh I'm just after some immaculate medals - you know the ones with the virgin Mary on them" said I.
"Just the one?" she said her eyes widening in disbelief.
"No. I'll have 10 please - and three of the bigger ones".
Well, at this point she had to scoot out the back for a moment ( no doubt to sprinkle herself with holy water and quote a paragragh from the bible ) and upon returning she hesitantly reached into the cabinet and withdrew the medallions.
"Are you sure these are what you want?" she asked.
"Oh yes, they will do just nicely" said I.
I could see her mind ticking over...maybe I was going to use them for a satanic ritual or a seance.....
I asked her,"Do you have any in sterling silver?"
"Oh we usually have plenty...but at the moment we have none (for you)".
I told her I would try again another day, thanked her politely and left.
Funny lot those catholics eh?

POLE DANCING QUEEN

I was gob smacked today with a photo sent to me by another blogger friend of mine. She is into pole dancing and I must say that she is VERY GOOD!Mind you,she is tall, THIN as a bean pole(hate you!) and has been doing gymnastics since forever!
Am I jealous - oh...yes!!!I wish I was a 20 something again....
but that was a long time ago and if I tried to do pole dancing with my body now I would end up in casualty after the first lesson.
Never mind..
I will just continue with my walking ( half an hour at a time, only when its not too hot or not too cold and on the flat ) PATHETIC....

International Angel Day

Today is International Angel Day and I was part of a Fair held here in Newcastle to celebrate this event.
It had poured all night long with rain and it did not stop for most of the day ......so, let's say it was quite slow....
But on the other hand I spent the day with my wonderful friends and got back in touch with some people that I had not seen for a while.
Thanks to all that supported us on this day. Even though we did not organise this event, I kind of felt that if the people who support "Rose Cottage" had not turned up during the day...it would have been a disaster!
Again - thank you!
I sold some Goji and Lisa did a few readings, as did Shann ( congrats on your efforts today!)
Lisa fed me with fab food from the Honeysuckle Markets next door (forever grateful) and we spent some time with Michelle, our spiritual artist extraordinaire, convincing her that an exhibition of her artwork is a "MUST DO" for next year.
The Cottage made some valuable connections , especialy with a woman from Sydney who would like to run a programme for teaching parents and carers about the special needs of children in this day and age ( on a spiritual level and well as physical and emotional)and so she will be using the Cottage to host workshops.
This week coming is one of the calmest left this year and I want to enjoy it.
From mid September my life turns into chaos with some seasonal work looming which sees me commited to a "real job" until mid January. I am dreading it..Too much effort for not enough gain - but it must be done ( unless I win lotto).
Also there is a bit of a health crisis within the family and it is a real worry.
Everything pales into insignificance when someone you love is not well.
I wish I had a magic wand - well I do....I might just go and wave it about and see what happens...
See you later...

Wet,wet,wet!

It is absolutely pouring down outside today...nothing more to do than sit at the computer I guess and do some of the things that I have been putting off for ages.
Sometimes I find it really hard to write.
I feel second rate today - second best, due to some situations that have come up over the last few days. The constant headache has not helped, but I know that it has come with the change in the weather and that I "ran away" just for a little while on my holiday and now I am back in the real world - my world - and it is what it is.
Must get on with it......

Back to reality

How I hate travelling in aeroplanes in the middle of the night!
My trip home to Oz was quite a effort....I performed gymnastics all night long to try and find one, comfortable, peaceful spot to rest my tired body and get at least five minutes of sleep.
There were many vacant seats on the trip home but none were near us.
Some passengers were stretched out over three seats ( bastards ) and were fast asleep.
I was stuck between my 12 year old who lay all over me and my mother in law who had inflated this little plastic pillow device around her neck and looked like she was being strangled by a very short python.
I twisted to the right, I twisted to the left, I slide low in my seat, I put my legs up over the top. I lost feeling in my arms, I put the tray table down and put my head on that, but I lost feeling in my arms again.I put my legs out, I put my legs on the seat...I was tired...I could not sleep..please just a few minutes.... and the movie had finished hours ago.
No food either...we ate within an hour of boarding.
Oh, yeah...they did turn all the lights on at 5 am and gave us breakfast.
Why is airline coffee so horrid?
Why are the vegetables rubbery?

One thing I have noticed every time I back home is that it is JUST SO BRIGHT here!!!
My eyes always need about two days to adjust back to the intensity of the colours and the brightness..the sky is so blue...truely beautiful.I love Australia!!!

CROCS RULE!!!

A great Aussie Icon passed today....Steve Irwin.
Such a shame - he was in his prime - a true environmentalist who made a mark on this world in a positive way. He will be missed.
RIP - Crocs Rule!

Last Post from Bangkok

Tonight is our last night here in Bangkok.
We seem to be located in the arab quarter ( nothing against them!!!) but there are soooo many - and the women are dressed totally in black from head to foot with only their eyes showing.Some women are more modern and will only have their heads covered and their other clothes will be "normal looking". The men all gather at night and smoke hashis in the bars and it can be quite overwhelming to be the only white woman walking down the street amongst all of them.
We walked into a red light district last night, while looking for food to eat at two oclock in the morning - some stall owners were just starting to set up for their night's work!!
There were lots of western men with Thai women already on their arms. Even though prostitution is officially illegal, it is rife everywhere. There can be rows of ten, twenty women waiting for someone to offer them some money.
Also I saw little children either begging, sleeping and begging or working at two and three in the morning. These kids are from five to eight years old. A little seven or eight year old was selling flowers in the red light district...another five year old was fast asleep with people walking around him...His cup had only a few pennies in it.
It is sad.Very few westerners drop a coin in the beggers cups.
The traffic is madness...We waited over twenty minutes at one intersection today until the taxi driver gave up and tried to turn into another street only to be blocked off by another car. The trip that took us 20 minutes in the morning took almost 1 1/2 at about midday.
The only piece of silence I experienced was a few moments at the reclining buddah and I also had my palm read!
We are all tired and grumpy...time to come home.
See you all soon!!!