Monday, October 30, 2006

Gremlins in the Blog machine!

Is it only I that is having problems posting lately or are other bloggers being sabotaged too?
Must be aliens in the ether - or are we blogging so much that we are creating a systems meltdown....
I had Mr.Garlicbreath today..
He approached from around the corner and before I knew what was happening, it hit me! A tornado of semi digested pungent garlic breath eminating from an abbyss edged with half rotten teeth..yewwwwww!!!!
I think he melted away the top layer of skin on my face before I could take a step back and take a breath..what was it that he wanted? Who cares!I told him I didn't have it hoping he would just GO AWAY!!!
Yet another day in paradise!

The week that was....

This was week number 2 of 14 and what a big week it was!
The comming week will prove to be bigger with a trip to Melbourne to see Dr.Testicleremover and to learn what the next phase of the "C" story will be.
Had a 'moment' this afternoon when the world stopped turning and I gave the whole affair a little too much thought.
The worst news of all is that the Queen Victoria Markets will be closed on Wednesday and we cannot stock up on smelly Polish sausage and jam donuts.Oh no!!!!
I encountered "Mr.Sunshine" today. This is yet another crackpot that frequents the Square and chooses to bother me and other patrons while thinking that he is oh so amusing."Hi love, how are you! Keep smiling - I want to see a smile on your face - now!!" As he stares at you with those piercing repugnant weedy eyes.Yuch!Creepfest central!
Then there was the lady that spent half an hour tellng me about the way her staffy dog spins and spins around the kitchen so cutely..oh, whatever lady, just buy a bloody record and get lost...oh and by the way she came back ten minutes later to tell me that she could not do her grocery shopping before going to the doctor's cause if she went to the doctor's with bread in her bag the bread would get contaiminated with germs from the doctor's office....oh my lord!!!
How I love retail!

Are these records?

If I hear that statement one more time, I will kill someone!
Get over it people....I AM NOT SELLING RECORDS OK!!!!!
I have come to the conclusion that reading the back and front cover of my calendars is as close as some people will ever get to reading a piece of literature!
I thought lobotomy's were illegal, but there have certainly been a few performed on local inhabitants of Newcastle.
Am I beginning to sound bitter and twisted?
Well, it has been almost two weeks - only 12 more to go!

It's all happening this week.
The man has been summoned by Dr.Testicleremover to Melbourne to have his wallet and its contents permanently dislodged from his hip pocket.
Yes...consultation number one coming up, so we are all heading down for a quick 24 hours in the Victorian capital.
Some quick planning has the shop taken care of and all under control.
But I will be missing Beltane festivities at the Cottage, bugger!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Blogger identities revealed!

Today I met two bloggers who came and visited me at Charlestown Square.
You know who you are!
I must say, it was great to see you both, but I was not at my cheeriest. Maybe the fact that it was Thursday night shopping, when the feral hordes descend on the Square.
Also the fact that Michael Hill Jewellers had a sprucker sending me into violent fits of hysteria because of her constant prattle on a loud speaker since 8.30 in the morning.Maybe, because I had to send staff home to pick up a delivery of calendars that never came till late and I was tired.
Maybe because I was asked at 9 oclock in the morning whether I had a calendar of Monkeys in the kitchen working....
Sorry girls, I am usually more sparky then that!
Next time I will be better, I promise.
Come again!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Staff number two starts her 3 month trial today!

Staff member number two, Mary Raihn came on board today and arrived early....then promptly went to buy coffees for both of us ( scoring high brownie points here!!! )
I must admit Mary Raihn is one smooth staff member, schmozzing the customers big time, calling the old timers 'darling' and handing out pocket calndars like there was no tomorrow!
Boss Mary was very impressed and I must say that my two new Staff Marys are totally cool and perfect. I am truely blessed.
Things are progressing slowly and both ladies will get to become 'more experienced' as the weeks go on and it gets more busy.
My feet hurt less this week, but I have thrown away the idea of looking totally professional in neat shoes, black stockings and short skirt and gone to comfortable but daggy pants,black socks and totally flat shoes.
Terribly unglamorous and dowdy...but hey, that's no different than any other time.
Why did I even think that I could look good and work 10 hour days?
Waste of time - thank you Sandy for coming in at 4.30 today and saving me from a nasty bladder accident..Phew!!!

Sunday, October 22, 2006


One week completed and only 13 to go - it's a breeze....NOT!!!
Today was Sunday trading and as slow as hell. I was bored and could not get motivated to be at my selling best.Worst trade day to date, but overall the week has been much better than last years first week.
A guy came up to the counter this morning and I noticed he had a worm on his shirt collar. It was wriggling as he talked to me and so I commented to him that he had a worm on his shirt. First he thought that I was having a piece of him but the woman I was serving said that there was actually a worm on his shirt.
At that point the man got irrate and told us both to mind our own business and that if he did have a worm on his shirt, it was his worm and he was entitiled to have it wherever he wanted to have it.
I was going to suggest that he obviously had an even smaller worm in his pants, but thought it best not to go there.
I vowed and declared at that point that I would never tell another man that he had a worm on his shirt ever again!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

S.W.A.T. Marys!

Last night I collapsed into bed, one very tired Mary.
Unfortunately, I ate too much before bed and watched S.W.A.T. on tv, which then produced a most vivid dream including the rest of the Mary's and led to me oversleeping and being very late to work this morning.
Yes - there we were, the Marys and me. We were being fitted out in hi-tech swim togs for a secret S.W.A.T. mission! We had arrived by black van to an undisclosed location and led into a fitting room where we proceeded to get these rubbery full length body suits for our scuba diving adventure ( shades of support hose deja vu in there somewhere).
Mary Raihn chucked a spack cause her cossy didn't fit and walked off totally pissed mumbling, "I've had a gutful!". My cossy consisted of a long shirt thingy that went all the way to the ankles with no pants, but I thought that I could tie it up somehow and make it work without drowning and Mary Ancell's fitted perfectly ( bitch Mary!).
I then left Mary Anchell looking quite chuffed that her bum did not look too big in her rubber suit and ran after Mary Raihn yelling that all would be well..we had a mission to complete!!!!!We were S.W.A.T Marys!
Oh yes!!!!Then I woke up and realised that I should have been on the road and at work right about then, so I ran out the door and having made good time and set up before the hordes of plebs arrived to part with their hard earned dracma, got totally abused by a 70 year old stupid fart of a woman for having "stolen her chairs" and where was she going to sit now after she got her medication from the Chemist???!!!
I suggested she start a petition to "get rid of the calendar lady who has stolen our chairs and where are we going to meet with the rest of our stupid, old, sensless pensioner friends to whinge the rest of the day away?" She told me to have a nice day.
I told her to......
have a nice day too!

Friday, October 20, 2006

The week that was....

This was the week that saw me:
1.Be happy that the man's test results came back negative - so next step is the BIG OP!
2.Go back to work ( what WAS that last word? )
3.Cut off the circulation to the lower part of my body by wearing support stockings.
4.Nearly breaking both wrists by trying to put said stockings on and take them off.
5.Managing not going to the toilet once in 12 hours - that was today.
6.Seeing the most horrible hairy arse crack ever ( well, since Calendar Club last year)-Ewwwww! This poor girl had so much arse crack hair you could style it!!!!
7.Get repulsed by the fact that some simple minded moron left their chewed gum stuck to my cash register when I wasn't looking - Ewwwww!
8.Eat too much food too late at night and then bloating like a zeppelin.
9.Become addicted to chocolate popcorn from the popcorn shop next to my stand at Charlestown Square.
10.Have dark rings around one eye only.
11.Not be able to stand on my feet when I got up in the morning cause they hurt so much from standing!
12.Amost getting through my first week.
13.Lasting till day 5 before getting really pissed off with my moron customers who cannot read , think I sell records and cannot put anything back the way they found. it.
14.Be abused repeatedly by old aged pensioners who claimed that I "stole" their seats and when was I going to kindly leave so that they could park their sorry saggy old arses back down on the seating provided by the centre right in front of the Chemist where I now am.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

96 days to go!

Yay!!! I have gotten through the first two days of work but have extremely aching feet. I remember my feet aching lke this when I used to go out dancing on a Friday night( days of disco)and I could not manage to get back to my car the pain was so bad. Now the pain is from standing on them for 10 hours a day.
This usually subsides by about day 7 or 8 at which stage they just go numb and I am fine after that.
Had the obligatory " are you selling records? I thought you couldn't buy them any more!" comment yesterday. Within a hour of opening too! How competely stupid!!!!
But then I have'nt seen Mr Barramundi Man this season yet - he is a classic!
Every year he comes in with his "uniform" of barramundi t- shirt and barramundi cap, shorts and thongs and goes straight to the girlie section and drools for about 15 minutes and then goes away.Ewwwwwww!
Yes, he comes back over and over again!
Had my first "Staffy" in today - Arty Farty Mary!
She did real well - Brains as well as beauty ......mmmmm!
For those of you who have not heard, the man got back the rest of his test results and we can breathe easy as the cancer has not spread. So, next step is to send results to specialists for a second and third opinion on who is going to perform the operation. At least one bit of good news this week - yay!!!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

End of Freedom as I know it!

Well today is the last day before Calendar Club starts...I see my life flashing before my eyes.I have already started the countdown....only 98 days to go!
I know, it's so sad - I have not worked full time for many years ( not hard to tell eh)and it means my freedom and flexibility is being taken away for the next three months.I go through this agony every year. The man will finally see me doing some 'real work', he just wishes it didn't involve so much of HIS time.
I am pretty lucky to have it - I am, really.I should be working full time,but can't due to many factors, so the whole famly chips in now and we all get to make a bit of pocket money to keep us going.
This afternoon we will head down to Charlestown to set up. This will take a few hours.The kiosk is installed by the man and his cousin (thank's cuz)then the women will move in and throw on the calendars as quickly as possible as we have a tight time frame to do it all.We are all frazzeled by the end.
I am hoping this season will be a good one, although in 98 days anything and everything can and will happen!

Friday, October 13, 2006

The pungent aroma of Chinese herbs!

Mmmmm! My house smells like the back of a Chinese restaurant on garbage night!!!And the man has to drink it, poor soul. I feel for him as I watch him pinch his nose and skull!
You know the intention of taking Chinese herbs is to frighten the body into recovery.

I have decided to put a sign up at my calendar kiosk that says, "BUY A CALENDAR - WE NEED THE MONEY!"
Somehow I do't think my boss will like that - but I do!

Talked to my "STAFF" members today - Lisa and Michelle ( aka Hairy Mary and Arty Farty Mary ) and boy..they ARE PUMPED!!!!!Can't wait to see how quickly the smile gets wiped off their faces, but I am deeply glad of their help and assistance.Thanks Mary and Mary! Shall I put that of your badges girls?
I am beginning to stress awfully - just had three wagon wheels without even blinking, but we seem to have most eveything under control for Monday.
Only two days left to sleep don't ring me before 10am world! You hear?

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Happy Birthday to me!

So,it was my birthday today and I managed to avoid most of the family...I really just felt like a quiet one this time around.
We had stuff to do and places to go - so we headed off to our Chinese herbalist and proceeded to pay out good money to be given a few bags of what looks like garden mulch (check picture!).The man has to make a nasty brew out of this suff and skull it twice a day. It stikes fear into the strongest of constitutions..but it works!
Then we had lunch at Jewels Tavern - highly recommended.
I had an enormous chicken schnitzel with an unfortunate looking mushroom sauce that looked like spew - but it tasted nice!
I went to Charlestown Square to introduce myself to the 'neighbours' namely Crazy John's and Terry White Chemist to be told by the guys at the chemist that they really don't like the fact that I will be blocking their stream of traffic with my kiosk for the next three months and that they will be takng it up with centre management.
Oh dear, here it goes!!!!
Hope I don't have to move - there is nowhere else for me to go.
Things went from mad to bad with a few more phone calls and problems to be sorted and by 4 oclock we still had not heard from the doctor. So the man made a call and was told that he would have to wait till Monday as his doctor had left for his holidays.
I am spending the evening drinking cock sucking cowboys which the man got me for my birthday...that should make me happy!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Making a meal from an apple pie!

Well, life goes on and as I am approaching Calendar Club time ( next week!!!)I took my mother out for the morning to hear her whine at me about how she will not be seeing me over the next few months and that I am not to forget that she is alive and how could I be deserting her etc,etc,etc.
So we go to McDonald's, which is her all time favorite food and I order her the obligatory McChicken, which I have to have three quarters of and she has a quarter, and an apple pie.
Now, we got through the burger ok, but then it was time for the apple pie.
My mother eats v e r y slowly. So slowly it is painful to watch.
But how can it take 15 minutes to eat half a McDonalds Apple Pie?
Yes..15 minutes.
I watched her twist and turn it, forget what she was doing half way through, remember again, suck out the apple, try to soften it with gulps of tea and twist and turn it over and over again.
I was would have been proud.
One of her main problems is the fact that her dentures, which were made for her when she was probably 40, no longer fit snugly and tend to move about a bit. The other problem is that half a piece of toast is now a "big meal".
I look forward to mushy food time - not!

A genuine thank you, again, to all of you that have sent their love and best wishes to us at this time. I cannot say enough just how much it has meant to us to just know that you care and are praying for the best outcome. It has meant the difference between curling up into a little ball in the darkest corner of my bedroom and being able to continue functioning.
We get back the results of the man's CT and Bone scans tomorrow and these are important ones as it will tell us how bad this beastie really is.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A Ton of Calendars!

Our stock arrived today!We now have a ton of calendars in our garage and strewn throughout the house. Yes - really. A ton of calendars arrived today and our fabulous delivery driver then proceeded to lift them off the truck and whilst almost breaking our letter box and scratching our driveway surface, he lost control of the pallet lifter and 480 kgs of calendars flew off and down our driveway in quite a ceremonious heap. Oh my God - now I had to take each box down by hand!
That took an hour.
Then my mother in law and I started the stock inventory. We have been at it for 10 hours between us and I have called it a day. There is probably about five hours to go before we get organised.
We have calendars about everything you can think about AND MORE!
Anyone want a calendar? Please?

Monday, October 09, 2006

Incontinence nurse?

My - how your world can change in just a few days!
I would have liked to have spent today going to lunch with the man and my daughter, maybe a movie or bowling ( haven't done that in ages ).Maybe a trip to Nelson Bay and a walk by the water. Maybe lunch with friends..
Instead, I was called by my increasingly dementia ridden mother at the crack of dawn with the question, "Is that you?".
Why did she call? Well, I really am still not sure - she just remembered something at 6 oclock in the morning and just had to share it with me. Not happy Jan!!!!!
Then I got on the phone to a specialist in Melborune who performs prostate surgery using state of the art machinery. They sent us info via email (how great is that!). We found out the price of this ( actually less than we were expecting ) even though it will be about $15,000, as we are not covered by private health insurance, if we want to go down that path.
Then, it was an appointment to our local GP and organising a possible "plan" for care for the next few months.
We were on the phone then to the 'incontinence nurse ' to talk about aspects of the post operation period if the cancer is found to be contained.
The man asked me, 'Where do we buy adult nappies from?' and I told him that we would cross that bridge when we came to it.
Then it was to Medicare to get some money back from some of the bills that we have already incurred.
Later I went to the Library and got about 8 books on prostate cancer to look through and also info about acid/alkaline balance in the body and its effects on our health.
And so the day was gone and I sat in the car telling the man what a fun day it had been!
I would have preferred to go to lunch with friends....

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Is the world still turning?

I woke up this morning and for a split second, before full consciousness set in..everything felt normal.
Then I realised that it was just Sunday and I was suffering prostate cancer overload.
I now realise why people just get on with their daily lives, go to work, buy the groceries etc.. after such devestating news.There has to be some normality, some sort of routine kept up or the 'big c' takes over everything.
We are more upbeat today - Aleks is very positive and has made a rule that we must stay happy.
Between my husband and I, we have looked at so many web sites over the past 24 hours about prostate cancer that we have had enough.Its all just a jumble of information.
I have said that I will be giving the man reiki each day and we are going to look at changes in diet and exercise.
Tomorrow ,it's on the phone to make many calls and some enquiries.
I might be fooling myself into thinking that all of this is giving me some control back - but that is my opinion only.
The man is strong and he is willing to do what ever it takes and so am I.
I AM NOT prepared for any further bad news - so these tests on Wednesday are not something I am relishing. One more straw will break the camel's back.
The man has spent the day with some mates watching Bathurst and having a drink or two, or three or four..can't blame him.

Does anyone have a magic wand? Or know a good miracle worker?
My wand is up to shit..and I need help now!!!
So let me know, ok?

Saturday, October 07, 2006

The Big 'C'.

Just when you thought that life might just slip one quietly past were dreadfully wrong and the world came crashing down instead.
Well, I really was not expecting my darling to come home and tell me that he had cancer...but he did, and we now have to deal with it.
I have to thank all of you for your wishes and prayers. You have all been so kind and I have passed on all your messages to the man.
He is being very brave and sees it all in the logical way he sees everything. I am the one that falls apart, and that's what I did.
I was very angry yesterday and in shock.I just could not believe it - I was so sure that he would walk in and say that everything was fine.
I really believed that I had received an affirmation of a good outcome.
So, I felt cheated and very angry.
My faith has been tested and I am far from being accepting of this. I do not want to learn any lesson and I do not want to go through this particular trial.
My husband is a good man and does not deserve to have this in his life.
Unbelievably if he had not gone to his doctor he would have never known.
He had no pain, no symptoms..nothing.
It was just his hunch to go have a simple blood test just to make sure everything was ok.
People his age do not get this..he is too young.

Today I am slightly numb but at least not crying.
Where do we go from here?
The man needs more tests to see how this has spread or if it is contained - so that is the next hurdle.These tests will go ahead in a few days.
From there we will see what our options are.
Thats all I can say.

Thursday, October 05, 2006


I am sitting here in the loungeroom waiting for my husband to return from the specialist with his results from the biopsy he had two weeks ago on his prostate.
This is agony....the specialist is running late and my husband should have been home by now.
I have eaten everything that isn't bolted down just so I am doing something and feel rather ill, so I thought that I would blog instead.
How do you wait for information like this?
Even the mere possibility of cancer is too much to consider - how do people do this?
Yesterday our fixtures arrived for our calendar kiosk. Now I know it's "FOR REAL" and we are truely committed.
My daughter asked me yesterday, " Mum, how many days does Calendar Club go for?".
All I could say is, "Too many" and left it at that.
For anyone who doesn't know, Calendar Club is a seasonal business that I commit to every October to January where I sell calendars at a local shopping complex from a kiosk.
It's where I make my "real" money.
I work on commission and my whole family is involved. My husband builds the kiosk and helps organise me and pulls me into line when I become the "drama queen from hell". He does maintanence and all the physical hard work.
My older daughter helps sell calendars on her days off and my younger daughter whinges and says that I am continully telling her to "hurry up" and that I am constantly in a bad mood.
My mother in law helps at the kiosk and does all the book work - which is HOURS of work.Each item has to be checked in and out otherwise we get charged for it at full price at the end of the season and have to wear the cost if it is stolen or a mistake on the part of the company having charged us incorrectly.
My mother's house is used as a storage facility for boxes and excess and our house becomes a shed with calendars in every available orifice, garage, bedrooms, hallways etc...It's so much fun just before Christmas.
We have a crazy Christmas with only two days off ( maybe it will only be one day this year if trading happens on boxing day ) and I work about 90 hours per week during the season - each day selling at the kiosk and then the bits and pieces when I get home, like banking, stock selection, bookwork etc.
By the end of the season I am 'cactus' and counting the days to the end.
Of course my psychic stuff gets put on hold and I wind down readings and my contribution to Rose Cottage which makes me feel totally guilty - as I wish I was there but can't be.
By the way....I am still waiting for my man to walk through the door....

So, come and see me and buy a Calendar. I am at Chalestown Square, lower level near the Chemist - plus I will probably be needing a coffee and to go the the toilet!
I can't write any more..I think I will go eat's been at least 10 minutes since the last time I put food in my mouth..

Monday, October 02, 2006

Where were you in 1975?

I am sitting here watching a program on what was hot in 1975 - Remember Sherbet?
Didn't they turn evil when they started wearning make up! My best friend ran their Newcastle based fan club and that is all I heard about. Boy, the stories she made up about what when on between the boys and her on a weekend at a gig! I knew it was all lies, but I let her go anyway cause she used to give me free Sherbert albums.Apparently the guys were'nt keen on the make up either, but that was the craze - especially with the likes of Kiss and the american bands with so much long permed hair and tight, tight pants...and the glossy silver eye shadow.
You could still get a decent cream bun and cream horn at the shop. (Yum)
What about flaired pants.....I remember having a pink pair - oh so stylish!
1975 was over 30 years ago - oh my God!!!!I was in high school and hated it. I would go to my friend's place before school every day and we would walk to school together and always be late.
That seems such a long time ago - yes...I AM old.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Psychic Weekend

The last two days have been spent at Salamander Bay ( about an hour's drive from Newcastle) at a Psychic Fair where I was doing readings.
I have come to accept that these events will never make me 'oodles' of money, but I enjoy the company of other psychics and its great for networking.
So with that intent I enjoyed the weekend and the few readings that I did do were very rewarding. I got a lot of valuable feedback that made me very happy with where I am currently at capability wise and the advice and discussion amongst the other psychics is always a learning opportunity.
I returned this afternoon feeling very ordinary indeed and was happy to be back with my family who I am missing very much at the moment.
I hate spending too much time away from them and now with the added worry of the health of my hubby it makes each moment together even more important.
I got some special crystals from Monika, the crystal lady, to give my husband to wear for a while while all this crap gets sorted..Thanks Monika.
Anniversary of Bali bombing at Jimbaran Bay today. The Balinese are doing badly.Tourism has not recovered..always the same...a small number of arse holes spoil it for everyone else.
Long weekend - tomorrow is a holiday for most.What are you doing?