A friend of mine has found herself in a pickle.
She has done something quite regrettable and now has to deal with the fallout.
This is a painful experience.
The truth hurts, and to be told by those that you call friends that you have been a total knob is not a pleasant experience, but necessary.
Friends tell each other the truth - no matter how painful, sometimes gently, sometimes brutally, but friends do that cause they care.
I want to tell this friend of mine off in a big way, cause she deserves it - but she is no longer listening.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
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7 comments:
yep.........
it's a problem.
perhaps if the 'friends' who spoke their truth didn't do it in such a hurtful, cutting, attacking way, things would be different... or maybe not. to be accused of being manipulative and attention seeking - something untrue - could possibly hurt. perhaps thats why i had 2nd thoughts about sharing it with everyone in the first place. the blog is now gone because i was ashamed of it - NOT because i am playing games or seeking your sympathy and worry. i need to sort my head out and i have to do that without being attacked. yes, it was your truths, and i respect that. after all, i was only speaking my truth too. thats all i was trying to do. now i have lost you all - and it's all my fault. i am messed up. true. you aren't. not like me. true. i have an illness. i'm not normal. if you would like to use that as something against me, thats your choice. obviously i was wrong in hoping i could integrate normality/spirituality with the mental illness side of things. yes i'm a knob. so sue me. i'm allowed to make mistakes. whatever you think, you think, i don't have a say in that. just know that i was not playing games, being manipulative or attention seeking. i can only say that because it's my truth. i'm extremely hurt. i'm a wreck - thats not your fault - it's mine. all i really want to say is that i'm sorry i made you angry, and i wish you could have told me how you felt without launching a personal attack on my integrity as a person or my moral standing. i don't know where i go from here. i've said all i need to say.
jacqui
do you really expect that you would do what you did and we would not react? That we would just say , oh poor ..... and that eveything would be ok?
I AM OVER...OH POOR ....!
no one said "Oh poor Renata" when I was raped, when I had an eating disorder, when I got kicked out of home ( I could go on - you would be yarning and bored in another second , you are not the only one with a past and with hurt that you are trying to work out )
BUT I was just told to get over myself - or not helped at all.And in a way it was a blessing,
I HAD to work it out, I had no choice and I did.
I HAD NO CHOICE and it made me stronger.
As long as you sit in your illness and accept it as being the whole you, then you will not be able to find the road out.
As painful as illness is, it can also become very comfortable.
When you remember that you are far more than this ILLNESS then you will trip through life just like the rest of us.
Remember who you are and what you have achieved, not who you are not and what you dont have.
Non of us have everything that we want, we all have problems, some worse or better to deal with, we all have a past that stinks (not all of us )but you just get on with it - you dont disrespect yourself (cause there are enough people out there that will do it for you).......
sit for a while and remember who you are and just promise yourself not to go there again, then at least you wont think all this rubbish has not been in vain...
and if you want to to have something to do that will keep your life joyful, purposeful and intriguing and see people everyday who really, rally cannot function in life, come and work for me at Charly this season - I have a spot for you, carrying a big stick with a pointy end ( but there will be terms and conditions, ha!!!!!!)Renata.
Yes.
It is a shame that Jac you have seem to have taken the comments as a personal attack on you, they were there you make you sit up and take notice of your actions. It is time for you to take responsibility for your actions and i don't just mean waht you did to yourself.
As a mother i was horrified at what you wrote on your blog...did you not stop to think of who else besides us that may be reading it? did you not think about how it might effect others?
you are so much more than your illness as Renata has pointed out and it is about time to start to look at yourself as Jac a "beautiful women with so much to offer"...not Jac "i'm sick i have an illness so sue me"
We are all here for you when you are ready to take the next steps....
Yes : )
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