OK......Who's got the toothpicks?

I need them to keep my eyes open...
Just finished this pic tonight..

What a blessing that the John Hunter is just up the road - I would be totally rooted if it was far away!
Today I hit the road to buy groceries, visit mum and totally wash her from tip to toe and feed her and remake her bed, then home to make lunch, then out to take down my art from "Sunny's" ( no didnt sell a thing ) and then out to Greenhills to set up for the booksale.
Home to wash clothes
and make some food for tomorrow and dabble with a painting and draw up a new one.
ENOUGH ALREADY......
Sounds like the witch's kitchen was fun!
Maybe next time I will get there?

Me and ma homies in da house! ( or ward....)

Yow dude! How they hangin man!
I is a hot mama in ward J3 with all my homies close 2 me!
Me homie dude Ron
he's 95 an goin strong
me homie bitch Bette
evry moment she forgets
me new girl Gladys
whose full of bitchin arthritis
me mum who wont be walkin
and silly things she be talkin...
me and me homies had some fun tonight
we talked some shit
and had a laugh
and then I said goodnight...

Another twist and turn in the dementia circus tent....

Well, we can now kiss the lovely little organised care facility at Tinonee Gardens goodbye as mum has been jacked up to "High Level Care" requirements.
We are back at square one now looking for nursing homes that can accomodate her needs.
Mum is still refusing to stand, complaining about pain, so they have been giving her more pain relief which is allowing her to sleep.
She seemed more settled today and back to her old complaining self.
I am going back shortly to help with her evening meal as she is not really eating much of what they give her...mind you it is probably the first time in weeks where she has consistantly had hot food three times a day.
I am now on the down hill run with providing help in this situation - from Monday my brother is on his own. I will help with whatever I can before and after work and try to visit her depending on where she goes.But for two weeks my hands are tied.

On the other side of the coin...
I will once again be exhibiting in July at SOAG ( Society of Artists Gallery at Tighes Hill ) the curators have chosen three of my paintings including "Stroud Monastery" as the pieces that they wish to show - thanks Jen!

Did I say that I had things organised?

Well...I am up shit creek alright.
Mum is proving to be a handful still playing games in between bouts of dementia.
She has been up all night moving the furniture in the hospital as she believes she is at home and is looking for her stuff - then she is refusing to walk or get up out of her chair because she has back pain.
She tells me that they are not giving her her pills which will make her walk, but when I show her her charts to say that she is getting her medication she blames me for making her into an idiot and putting her in the hospital.
She is now angry ( thanks for warning me Jade ) and blames me for her plight.
My job is to just take her home and be there for her 24/7.
That will solve the problem.
I am sure it would....
SO respite wont touch her at the moment and paperwork is being "tooed and froed" while I pick up and wash various bits of underwear and try and reorganised what has already been organised, look at nursing home vacancies, see doctors and deal with mum.
Family is coming a poor second at the moment.

So we must wait until tomorrow to see what happens next...

The good, the bad and bloody hell where am I?

Exhausted.
The respite Care is all organised. Now we wait for mum to be discharged which could happen today so I will see the doctors and wait for the outcome.
I called in yesterday to find mum in bed with her shoes on and still in the same clothes she arrived in.Obviously nurses do not have time to bathe patients anymore or in my mums case lack of communication, so I dragged her kicking and screaming to a shower and stripped and showered her under great protest. She will not move out of a chair now, too scared to fall over which means that she has made herself bed ridden.
She told me that her legs hurt too much but she also smelt awful, so a shower it was and she felt better immediately.
I left her last night believing that she was at home and wondering what all these other people were doing wandering around HER house.No amount of explaining was sinking in.
So respite may not be such a shock after all - she may actually believe she is at home.
Her mental functions seem to be vanishing as I sit and watch her.
This is such a bizarre thing - like someone fading away. Her energies have changed and there is now a vacant spot where my mother used to be.
I cleaned out her fridge, sorted and washed clothes and packed some bags last night for her and they are in the car in case she can go into respite today. How do you sort through someones lifetime and allocate to them what is important.
I wonder if she will come home?
I wonder if she will remain on this level of functioning or will it slip even further?
I did not buy a ticket for this journey - but it is here and I am on the bus!

Meanwhile, I also received a call from the local "Post" magazine yesterday. It looks like they will be featuring me in "The Canvas" (meet the artist) in their paper on June 10th, in two weeks time.So I sent them a small blurb and some photos....cool!

Pic No?Which one is it now???

This is a potrait of my sister in law's companion, Stan. This guy is a gem and has just left to go back O.S. to, hopefully, finalise his bits and pieces and then return to Oz to spend the rest of his life with her.Stan worked very hard on our front yard before he left and he has a wicked sense of "living in the moment".I really hope to see him again and relish him being part of our famly.

Meanwhile, we are moving ahead with securing respite for my mum and I will be going today to sign some papers to get this happening. Can I mention that this was only achieveable because I "know the right people"....otherwise, I did not have a hope in hell. Mum was better when I visited her last night, but she was asking me "who were all those strange people wandering around the hospital - that they kept wanting things from me"...these are the nurses...
Five mintes later she asked me again, and five minutes later she asked me again...
How she will cope with the news that she is being "put into respite" is something we will tackle today. I see a huge dummy spit coming and really, who would blame her..how does one react when they realise that their life is no longer as they have known it to be? Also she has always thought that aged care = death.

I'm going to be in a Calendar!

No....dont get excited...I will NOT be wearing a bikini or in one of those "naked lady "calendars....oh bosh!I hear you say?????

I entered a local challenge from our Art Society to enter a Newcastle themed painting to win a space in a calendar that the Society is creating to raise money for itself and the Helicopter Rescue Service for 2010.
There were 43 painting presented last night at the general meeting of the Society and over 60 members voted.
I was lucky enough to receive enough votes to get a place!
YAY!!!!
A small win along the road.
It means that I will get some exposure!
The picture that won was of my "Stockton Ferry" ( check blackdogartworks )

Going to see mum today and find out some more stuff on how I can offer assistance for her...

Things change very quickly!

Well mum went into hospital yesterday as she has been complaining about pain in her back. She is not doing very well.
I have been with her today and her decline in mental awareness has been quite severe.
I know that being taken out of her environment does not help, but, it was quite obvious to me today that her abilities to look after herself in any sustained way dissapeared over the last 24 hours.
We cannot get to the bottom of the back pain problem. Some moments it is unbearable and in the next breath she is asking me to take her to the Club.
She also swore that she was not given any pain killers, so when I asked the nurse I was told that she had already received two doses today.
She is panicked,disoriented and very angry - she says that the staff are trying to kill her and she has been left all alone for days, yet she has only been there for 24hours.
This is all pretty awful and sad to see and made more complicated as she is now hardly speaking any English.
I feel sorry for her and I am sad that this was not investigated and taken care of earlier when she could still have had an input - but, she has been as bull headed as my brother in this regard, not heeding my pleas to get these matters sorted.This should have happened after my father died three years ago, now it is going to be a horrible mess with her stuck in the middle of it all.
Bugger.....

A Trekkie Feast!

Well, I DID go and see the Star Trek movie last night - it was a hoot.
Just the type that I love to watch at the movies ( which rarely go to any more ) lots of visual effects and lots of fun to watch.
Next week I am going to see "Angels and Demons" with a friend.
If you want to see a real tear jerker - go hire out "Seven Pounds" with Will Smith and buy a box of tissues.
If anyone has a copy of "The Others" I could borrow can you bring me in a copy?
I watched this movie many years ago and then spotted it on TV last week but only managed to watch a snippet and then deleted by mistake the copy that I made - I got really hooked into it this time and now "MUST SEE IT!"
Life is a bit sad when these are the most important things in my life at the moment...I guess this is just one layer of a much more complicated life.
Lazer Force and 15 teenagers to contend with this afternoon...glad its not at my house!

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!

No time for a headache now!

I have had a bad headache since Tuesday - a throbbing behind my eyeballs like hot metal pokers being inserted and removed.
This weather has been the culprit - it has not made it possible for me to paint or really want to do anything at all.
This weekend its all about Aleks...shopping this morning for this and that before she has a party/sleepover at a friend's place ( gee I wish I was 15! ) and then she comes home tomorrow for a rest and then her Lazer Zone party in the afternoon.

We might lash out and go to the movies tonight while the baby girl is away....
Which one?
"Star Trek" of course - it looks super cool!

Went to a funeral yesterday - in all that rain.
It was awful.The father of an old friend of mine had died.
Polish funerals make you want to kill yourself - all that bosh about paying for your sins and going to eternal salvation after death. Whining about praying for the poor unclean soul of the deceased...I know why the souls departs so quickly...before the church srevice there is the reciting of the rosary for the "repose of the soul"..now THAT would want to make you leave if nothing else....

New Pic - Stroud Monastery

I hope that I have done justice to one of Jen's photos. Just a few fine tuning bits and its done!
Update - Ok. I have just posted the finished image. Adjusted the door, put in the details and added the stained glass.
Now I am happy with it!
Thanks Jen for allowing me to paint your image.
I had a lot of fun and it was a challenge.
Thanks guys.

Blah, blah and then more blah!

Well, another day - I had to attend a meeting with my managers from Calendar Club (yes...I know I have said that I will not be doing it )but I was interested to see what they had to say.
There was a lot of blah..blah..blah..interspersed with, yet again, telling me that I may be "somewhat stale" within the position and that I could do with some training.
It is obviously still my fault that I had bad sales last season ( nothing to do with no parking and refurbishment of the centre, of course ) and nothing to do with the fact that I had no stock and only the shit that they send to the "regional stores".
Yet again I spoke my mind but they really were not interested, just telling me to pick up my game before the season starts...oh and NO STOOL!!!!!Forget about sitting down - apparently it gives the customers the feeling that I dont care if I am sitting down ( I thought that telling them to"fuck off" would be the thing that conveyed that message? )
Anyway, thank you very much..I enjoyed the coffee and I shall see you later...
Mwa....
then the afternoon with mummy..
She is 85 years old but tells me that she is 83.
Of course we had to go to the Club and then to Macca's - her two favourite places in the world.
So I sat at shouting distance from her while she played the pokies - I cannot venture too far as she forgets which buttons to press and proceeds to yell across the room until I run to her assistance. I also have to supply hot chocolate and dollar coins because she cannot put notes in the machine.
Usually a bottle of Strongbow cider lessens the humiliation of being "heralded" like a serf to attend my queen.
It was also dutifully announced to all and sundry that it was her birthday by her grabbing willy nilly at everyone who ventured within a foot of her.
Bless her!
Then it was off to Macca's where we enjoyed a half burger each and tea and half an apple pie which took approximately 45 minutes to eat.
In the meantime she complained about the weather, the clothes I was wearing, that she is lonely and that I should leave my family and move in and look after her, that the weather is horrible, that those naughty children running around are annoying her, that she is lonely, that I am not dressed properly, that the weather was bad, how amazing she is ....oh should I go on?
This state of affairs is quite sad indeed and I wonder how it will all proceed...but for now the day is over and I need another bottle of Strongbow!.

The joys of self promotion!

Today was "elf" promotion day with everyone getting an email to visit my art website, sending out a few emails and other bits and pieces that I have put off doing in an effort to get my art out there...as I walays say, it might be nice to have my babies at home but they are no good to me there.
Also I had a dream that I was holding a new baby last night - this is always a sign of a new project or new beginning starting....so I really pushed myself today.
I'm not too good at doing things like this - this part always lets me down.
Im not one for this side of things - maybe that's why I have never been "successful" at anything. I have managed to do things, to conquer the skills but then I fall flat never ever getting myself out there enough...it's just not me, I am the eternal wallflower preferring to blend into the wall rather than stand in the middle of the room.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Happy Birthday baby girl!

Miss Aleksandra has turned 15 today!
She took many cakes and biscuits to share at school today and we went to Macca's for hotcakes for a breakfast treat before school.
Tonight we are heading to a Japanese Restaurant for tea tonight ( that's pretty good for Aleks ) and so she is a happy girl.
This weekend we have a "biggin" with Aleks sleeping over at another friend's place who is having a party on Saturday and then on Sunday we will be hosting a LazerForce extravaganza!
Wish I was 15 again..... ( no I dont - couldn't go through my childhood again!!!!I am still trying to get over the scars )

Eurovision "Take 2" Did I mention Sticky Date Pudding?

Yes, sticky date pudding with Caramel Sauce......and perogi and cherry vodka.
Thank God it ended at 9.30 cause I was comatose by 10pm.....
Tonight we have part two - last night was pretty tame except for a Freddie Mercury look alike wannabe in a superhero outfit and another guy in white leather....
in the mean time.....
This is my Stockton Ferry piccy...this was another really difficlt one on a larger canvas which always scares the crap out of me, but I perservered.
This one has taken me about a week with moments of panic and procrastination layered in between...

Cherry Vodka and Pierogi Night tonight!

Well, its Eurovision tonight on SBS and we will be glued to the screen to watch this extravaganza of bad taste and dreadful music!
Eurovision never dissapoints - its always a hoot and not being able to understand what they are singing just adds to the fun.
Also you must always listen carefully to the commentary - those guys are crazy!
So the Cherry Vodka and Perogi ( stuffed Polish style dumplings fried in butter and covered in sour cream ) will be on the menu.It took me three hours to make them yesterday!
Oh, just can't wait!

Happy Mother's Day from Aleks

Aleks did this fanastic picture for me for Mother's Day - she has more talent in her little finger than I will ever have!
And my big girl got me much needed slippers and house socks which I am wearing as I write!
Thanks girls....
and did I do any dishes?
Of course I did....
but not all of them.

Happy Mother's Day to you all !

Well tomorrow is supposed to be our 'day of rest' - ho hum!
So what do we do? We cook and clean and prep in advance - double the work load today so that we can get not to do anything tomorrow and hope that we may just get something more that pj's or ugg boots - because that is apparently what all mothers want ( thats what all the shops seem to have ).
I wont be getting a jot - told family not to bother, just a day together will be fine for me and only one request...
NO WASHING UP.
NONE.
NOT ONE PLATE, KNIFE, FORK...NOTHING.
Enjoy your special day ladies!

Ouchy..ouch...ouch

Love the rain...but it is quite foul for my neck and shoulders.
So, in much pain today with heat packs dotting various parts of my body.
Quite an attractive site indeed.

Do these look good enough to eat?

The Circus of lost souls presents.....

blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah etc..etc...etc...
I wont bore you all with how I am really feeling...needless to say that my head feels like it has been bitten off, chewed up by a foul mouthed bottom dwelling arse licking troll and then spat out into a pool of human excrement.

New Art works

I finished this one yesterday - was working on it at Stroud.
Also check out my daughters latest work in my side bar - bloody good eh?
I am very proud of her.

Brief weekend at Stroud

Well, I too spent some time at the Monastery at Stroud.
I had to put in some paintings to the Dobell Art show at Rathmines ( did not win )and hubby was going out for a work smoko night on Friday so I headed up to the Monastery on Saturday morning.
I must admit that the place is a little too quiet for me - I have come to understand myself as being more the "flashing lights and ringing bells" type of person - all that deep solitude does my head in...
but, none the less, we had a great time away and I had a marvelous game on Trivial Pursuit with Heidi ( while the other stick in the muds who would not play decided that they knew all the answers and kept on trying to butt in!!!)We certainly had a laugh.
Stroud is not the capital of "fun".
It has four main shops with a pub and grocery store that also sells spirits ( thank the Gods ).But the main intention to head that way is for the companionship of your friends and time to sit and think (or paint) or read in peace and quiet.
Not being able to text is a strange experience as is not having some "sound" on such as a t.v. or music....an interesting experiment indeed.

I chose mother superior's bedroom for the evening repose, but got little sleep with my bed being most uncomfortable, therefore requiring me to get up and choose a couch in the main room area for the rest of the night and proping myself and sore shoulder up on pillows...maybe the dear nun had it in for me and did not want me in her sanctuary in the first place...I DID dream of Tom Cruise...I think he was trying to convert me..

No holiday at all!

Hubby has been off for the past two weeks and with the help of my sister in laws boyfriend, they have created a minor miracle in the front yard and almost completed a retaining wall that has been waiting a considerable length of time to be finished ( about 15 years to be exact - but these things cannot be rushed).
I have decided to call it the "small wall of Fatima" as it is quite a miracle in my eyes and I must go out and buy a small statue of Mary to place at one end of it.
The front of the house is unrecognisable - I have been looking at mounds of dirt for so many years and there is now a pathway ( which will delight the local meter reader no end )and gorgeous wall.
Even though we have done it "ourselves" as such, these things turn out to be quite expensive...so that weekend at the Palazo Versace on the Gold Coast will have to wait while I spend my days thinking what I can do with a kilo of mince meat instead?????
We still have our main bathroom to work on when the man has more hoidays in a few weeks time but I would really love to get away somewhere even for a couple of days.
Meanwhile, what am I doing sitting here when I can be out the front admiring my new wall...off I go.