Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The good, the bad and bloody hell where am I?

Exhausted.
The respite Care is all organised. Now we wait for mum to be discharged which could happen today so I will see the doctors and wait for the outcome.
I called in yesterday to find mum in bed with her shoes on and still in the same clothes she arrived in.Obviously nurses do not have time to bathe patients anymore or in my mums case lack of communication, so I dragged her kicking and screaming to a shower and stripped and showered her under great protest. She will not move out of a chair now, too scared to fall over which means that she has made herself bed ridden.
She told me that her legs hurt too much but she also smelt awful, so a shower it was and she felt better immediately.
I left her last night believing that she was at home and wondering what all these other people were doing wandering around HER house.No amount of explaining was sinking in.
So respite may not be such a shock after all - she may actually believe she is at home.
Her mental functions seem to be vanishing as I sit and watch her.
This is such a bizarre thing - like someone fading away. Her energies have changed and there is now a vacant spot where my mother used to be.
I cleaned out her fridge, sorted and washed clothes and packed some bags last night for her and they are in the car in case she can go into respite today. How do you sort through someones lifetime and allocate to them what is important.
I wonder if she will come home?
I wonder if she will remain on this level of functioning or will it slip even further?
I did not buy a ticket for this journey - but it is here and I am on the bus!

Meanwhile, I also received a call from the local "Post" magazine yesterday. It looks like they will be featuring me in "The Canvas" (meet the artist) in their paper on June 10th, in two weeks time.So I sent them a small blurb and some photos....cool!

7 comments:

Wendy said...

Sending you love, peace and strength ♥

Vania said...

Gongrats on your feature!

So sorry to hear about your poor mom - my parents are also old and I dread thinking of what could happen to them in the next few years - wishing you lots of peace and strength - you are both in my thoughts. Val

Lisa said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmm
when it happens it happens fast....where is your brother during all this ?

Jade E. Henderson said...

I feel bad for you but putting her in care is the best thing you can do. My mum just recently went through all this with her own mum, my nanna. She had a fall and had to go to hospital and then went home and had to go to hospital, whilst slowly her mind withered away and agression and confusion took its place. She argued with them to go home so my mum and her siblings let her as they felt bad, however the doctor got up them telling them she needed to go into care, but whilst at the hospital the doctor can force it but once she goes home, she has to agree to it. So it was very hard for them to look after her, she wouldn't eat she would even go out driving oh my god so they took her keys and she went crazy at them. And then she passed away. But this is where it will differ with your mum, as she is going where she will get the care she needs. If your mum gets angry at you, she really still does love you, but apparently nannas doctor said that it they had kind of a traumatic or unideal childhood, when they get dementia or whatever its called, it can be agressive. so I'll send lots of hope your way, and I hope your mum can enjoy her time peacefully with your love and support.

And congratulations on being in the paper that is so cool mate!!

Anonymous said...

oh boy...then I am up for the aggresive type as she had world war two as her mother and father and the concentration camp as her home....w.w.
Thank you guys for all your suggestions and help...I am on unkown territory and at the moment mum is in refusal stage and will not even get out of bed, which means that the respite place will not take her.
I need to get her moving...w.w.

Michelle said...

Wow....it's all happening overnight or you isn't it.

Sending you strength Renata and much much love

xxx

Kathleen said...

xxxx to you and family