It's been three years...

It's been three years since dad died...20th August 2005.
Since then, so many things have happenend in my life that it seems as though dad has been gone for much, much longer.
I know so little about him that I often wonder how similar I may be to him or how different?
He was a man who shared little and certainly was not around much when I was little - he worked afternoon shift. I knew him as an angry, solitary man who ruled with an iron fist.
All I have now is some memories, and a box of documents that tell me something about his life.
When I see my mother, she does not mention him.
It's all about her.
And I guess that's where she's at - it needs to be all about her, that is her survival tactic.
And it has worked for her.
I have had a massive headache for days now and I woke with it still firmly lodged in my head this morning.
I am hoping it goes away soon.

What are you really doing with your life???

I watched a program on t.v. last night on Compass ( ABC )about a 75 year old Aussie man who goes around Bali and does free cataract surgeries in remote villages for those suffering blindness.
It told about his efforts to overcome the fears of the people and their superstitions about their Gods and that they are suffering because of karma from another life.
There was a story of a family of two sisters who had 22 children between them, all who developed cataracts and were blind.This Aussie man tried for years to get the father to allow the kids to have an operation, and finally, two were allowed to go. Ofcourse, it was successful which then made the other 20 children want one!
Also, there was another story of a two year old, blinded by cataracts, and her first moments of seeing her mother's face for the first time after the operation ( which lasts only 12 minutes ).

How joyous it was!!!

This particular fellow had been through a near death experience ( I guess Lisa would definately call him a walk in ) and after this man left hospital he moved to Bali to recover and now he is giving back to the country that gave such a new perspective on life.

It was also a story about the spiritual centre of the Balinese, how their whole world revolves around the graciousness of the Gods and what they give and what they take away.
They celebrate life and, equally, celebrate death.
We have a lot to learn from these gorgeous people and my heart longs to go back there.
It did make me think about what I am trying to achieve through my life -
that I have a real need to be a spiritual person - it makes me feel that I have a soul.That I would like to feel that I do something that makes a difference.
And that is not at Calendar Club, nor is it Wombat or Rockmans.

In Bali, the village medicine man or Baliyan is the most important person in the village. They go to him, or her, for all their problems, for healings and for advice as well as to reconnect to those who have passed on.
You can see the Baliyan become 'taken over' with the presence of the departed soul and you can see the people become possessed with spirits who are passing through and connect with them to cause havoc and illness. I really want to learn and know more. It is fascinating stuff.

The Volvo goes bye bye!!!

Well, another headache gone - we sold the Volvo this weekend.
Not for as much as we wanted, but with the way the market is now a days, we must feel very blessed at selling it at all and considering it was our first ad in the Herald. We had only advertised in the local trading post before that.
So "Precious" now belongs to a young Kashmiri family - dad works at the University as a researcher and mum is expecting her first baby ( and is terrified of dogs, as we found out when Maximus went to say hello ).
Good luck to them - I know "Precious" will be good to them.
I was a bit sorry to see the car go - I am sure that if I did not have to count the pennies I would still be very happy to continue driving it as long as I could.

Work? I'm over it!!!

Whose idea was this work thing anyway???
It's all a bit ho - hum and I cannot imagine standing in a ladies clothes shop serving all day long, every day, all day - I now admire all shop girls for their stamina and resiliance!!!
I did a shift out at Rockman's Wallsend yesterday cause they had just fired a lady in there and had no one to do the shift.
Tell you what - I sold more stuff there in the first 15 minutes than I have in the four shifts I have done at Wombat Greenhills.
They certainly want their pound of flesh....no standing around...no, no, no....tidy racks, vacumn floors, wipe benches, hang dresses....
I was exhausted..not good form for an old lady like me.
I go back for three hours today to Greenhills and then the rest of the weekend is MINE!!!
Father in laws birthday party today.
Small do at his place and hopefully I will be doing very little tomorrow.
Have a good weekend everyone - full moon will do crazy things to some people so be on your guard....the patients have escaped from the asylum and are among us!!!!!!!

I won a Ipod shuffle today!

Above are my two most recent works.
One is sort of out back themed with really rich colours that I have not attempted before and I am still working on it and the other is a pic of Newcastle Baths which is now completed.
I have been going mad entering lots of competitions lately and today I got an Ipod Shuffle in the mail.Apperently you can put msic on it and listen through headphones???
Yippee!!!!!!
I have also won a dvd called "The Tudors". I think it's a bit of a yawn....but it's a prize and I need to be grateful...
Maximus is lying on my lap while I type away and Sandy, my friend, called him a "time waster" today - indeed she is totally right.
He is a complete time waster..
I will blog my new art works later when the man gets home and can do it for me..
Things are fast paced at the moment with the contract for Calendar Club arriving in the mail for me to sign off on - that means commiting to another season...ooohhhhh
I have a headache already.
And by the way, I start on October 13th, one day after my birthday, which means that I have to set up the kiosk ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! and it will interfere terribly with our Scone Monestry thingy.....I may only be able to be there on Friday and some of Saturday...see already it is shitting me off and there are still two months before I start..

Maximus - the eating and pooing machine!

Boy can that little boy eat!
Maximus has a hankering for piklets, potato bake and the froth off my cappucinno - he only gets a little bit.....don't yell at me!!!
But I am sure that he has grown heaps in this last week.
He is far more confident and loves to have a wander in the back yard on his own exploring in the jungle where the grass is taller than he is.

Life goes on and I am getting to go to art class today - I missed out last week due to going "Wombating".
I had to step up and do some heavy painting over the past few days to look as though I have done something.
I am hoping to finish my latest creation today and will post it later.

I am sad that we have lost one of a YAAD girls she is on my mind and I hope that she stays safe and finds what she needs for herself at this point in time.Good luck Maggie ......stay in touch!

By the way,
The man's latest test results for Prostate Cancer came back as under .01%!!!!!!!!!
Which means he is in the clear and all is super wonderfulious!!!!!
I always sweat when he goes in for a blood test.....as you do...it is such a releif to get the results back.

We have had a great weekend with our newest member of the Daniel family.
We showed him off to several family members who had not seen him yet.
He, of course, won many hearts and is a real cutie!!He loves crawling up and sitting on our necks, snuggling in under our hair.

I have two sifts at "Wombat" this week.
Not much is it?
But I was listening to my cousin's boyfriend who told us that he is working in the kitchen of a local restaurant where they are paying him $13 an hour as a kitchen hand.
He has also been called in to do a one hour shift! That's rediculous!
That's working in todays environment thanks to work place aggreements and every one needing to take anything and everything that is available no matter what the conditions!

8.08.08

Today is the day the Chinese have been waiting for...the start of the Olympics!
I hope it works out well for them as they are putting many people, services and businesses on the line for this event.
I wonder how we would react in Australia if the government told us that we could only drive our cars on certain days if we have even numbered number plates?
Or that we have to shut down our factory, as it is making too much pollution, until the Olympics are over?
But, today is a very lucky day and there are a bzillion Chinese getting married today as they believe that it wil bring them prosperity for the rest of their lives.
They even arrange to have their wedding photos taken a week before the actual wedding day so that they are perfect.
Mmmmmm...blows the idea of you future husband not seeing you in you wedding dress before you walk down the isle doesn't it!

Fortuna is going crazy!

Heaven's, slow down world I want to get off!
I have a job....oh my God!
It's only casual at the moment and I have no idea how many hours I will be getting...
so I am taking it a day at a time.
It's a "Wombat" at GreenHills which is part of the Rockman's group of women's fashion stores.
My boss is James Packer!
He pays shit money...the retail award is shit and work place aggreements make it shittier.
but....at the moment it's a bit of money coming in.
And I am grateful...how it progresses I guess we will see.
There are other things in the pipeworks.
thank you Fortuna..
shit, you rock!!!

Maximus
is SO CUTE.

Life with Maximus!

How such a little bundle of fur and snoffles can bring so much joy into a household!
Maximus is being a darling as is just so adorable.
I took him into the Cottage twice for an introduction yesterday, so if you missed it, I am sorry. There will be plenty of more times ahead as he will become Cottage dog number two behind the mighty Trevor.
He is very very good at night wihout a peep coming from his box till morning - I remember our last pup howled for days til he settled, so I am very lucky indeed.

Other than that, many change have occurred, but things need to settle down a bit before I can say that any of it has been accepted.
I really have come to understand that I do not "do" change well at all and most new things in life are very threatening to me.
You would think I would have thought that shit out by now?
So I need to slide inot things slowly and then I can adjust.
YAAD two starts tonight - so another adjustment needs to be made to the weekly itinerary. It has been so many weeks - I will be happy to see my girls again.

What a weekend!!!

It's been a very full weekend.
All has gone very well.
Baby girk LOVED her Anime Convention at the UNSW.
She took a friend with her and met a few there and they had a ball - I actually did not get lost and navigated the maze that is Sydney very well.
I was exhausted though.
Today we spent the whole day at a Prostate Cancer Seminar at the Town Hall.
There were some amazing people there with one very important gentleman named Dr Walsh from America, a leader in his field.This was his only speaking appearance in the whole of Australia for this year so we were greatly honoured.
Allan Pease was also there - the man who wrote so many books on body language.He did a small talk on his experiences with prostate cancer.
We learnt many new things today and the only unfortunate thing to happen was that a woman sitting next to me had a "turn" and an ambulance had to be called to take her to hospital.
There were 300 people there today and this woman happened to be sitting next to me - the man reckons I must have done something to her....

and


the biggest thing of all
is that we got a new member of the family today.
Yes...
we got our pug today.
it was a spur of the moment thing
it just happened.
we called up yesterday and this puppy was the only one of two left out of the litter.
So went round to the breeder after the seminar,
took one look.....
and were sold.
We are calling him "Maximus" - cause he's not...
he is tiny..
actually teeny weeny
and is currently in a big box in the lounge room.
What have we done????

It's been vewy, vewy qwiet!!!!!!

Very quiet week this week.
The weekend sees me heading down to Sydney tomorrow to an Anime Convention at the University of NSW - I have not been around that area of Sydney before so the thought of catching buses and such is just a little daunting....also I have baby girk and friend tagging along. She and friend will have a ball, I will be bored out of my brain!!!

Sunday, there is a huge Prostate Cancer Seminar being held at the Town Hall here in Newcastle, and as we are part of the local Prostate Cancer Support Group, we are going along to hear some guest speakers and mingle with the rest.
Should be a good day and am looking forward to it.

A friend of ours had a baby girl last night, must ask Gayle whether she attended....but they called the bub Jadah DAPHNE!!!!!!, Daphne????
It is Grandma's name apparently...may the Goddess bless baby, who from now on, will always be known as Daph by me!

Wet, Cold...well it is winter!

nothing to report.
All good.
"If you havent got all the things that you want, be grateful for all the things that you don't have that you don't want!"
Anonymous.

Psychic Fair this weekend!

Doing a Psychic Fair this Saturday at Telarah Bowling Club from 3pm to 9pm.
It is a fundraiser for a local footy club.

It has been a good week - I have done four readings with one already booked in for next week.
That is cool.
I also have a party booking for later on this year from a lady that called all the way from Melbourne. She is having a hen's night at Pokolbin.
I am up for it - cannot let a job slip by at this stage.
Even if I have to travel a bit to get there.

I am told we are under the influences of the Goddess Fortuna - well bring it on baby!!
May I be blessed with the magick stick many times over!!!!!!

What the?

Had a dream last night that baby girk wanted a rabbit's foot lucky charm.
I had to chase after it in all these shops until I finally got one - It cost only $4 from this dodgy old guy in a shop behind another shop and when we finally went in to buy it he wouldn't sell it to us without trying to sell us two.
The dream ended before I walked out with it.
mmmmmmmmm?????

Frikken Cold!

For Goodness sake - will someone turn a heater on?
Even my Wiggles shirt isn't keeping me warm.
But, the jasmine is blooming and so winter is coming to an end.
I guess we should enjoy the colder weather while we still can - soon we will be whinging that it is too hot.
To anyone who is interested in my progress in the exercise stakes..
well I am still going, but have not lost any weight.
Anyway, it must be doing me some good whether I lose anything or not.
I have also finally gotten some massage approved by those arseholes at Allianz ( can I suggest that you never, ever use Allianz for anything )and so I had a blissful session this morning.
Now this rain will cripple me again...but
Going for another session on Friday.

Pilgrims Pope-ulate Sydney!

Phew! Thank God that's over.
Now all those insanely happy Christians can go home and leave us to get on with our miserable lives.

I watched some of the Papal Mass at Randwick on tele today and was impressed with the whole set up. The beautiful Australian wildflowers on the stage where the Pope celebrated Mass and the southern cross on the priest's robes were great Aussie touches. The Pope's referral to the church as "she" seemed to mess with my brain - if the Church can be a "she" why can't there be more flesh and bone "she's" as "her" representatives? mmmmm?
When DID Jesus decide that all priests are to remain celibate their whole lives?
But, I digress,
we do live in the great southern land, and we can be proud of the fact, that, in most cases, we are one multicutural community that makes it work.

It's going to rain - my back feels like it has been sawn in two!

Garage Sale proves Pope-ular!!!!

Today's garage sale went off with a bang!
I sold heaps and was well pleased.
So did the dragon lady, crystal faerie and the honey Bee as well as Hissy fit sister of the Sister Mother Mary.
To be sure we will be having another one soon.
It amazes me what people will buy - not that our stuff was shit, but I really think that the regulars go around looking for bargains and then these same items appear at other sales a few weeks down the track.
I heard stories, from others who had held garage sales, of people climbing fences at 5.30 in the morning to see what was on offer...
man, I would be hitting them with a broom and telling them to get a life.
It was certainly fun, accept that it is such a long morning from 7am...I thought that I had been there for hours and realised that it was only 10am....so we sent the Dragon Lady for Gloria Jeans ( blessed be ) and that kept us going.

Now I head for an afternoon with my dear mother - that should top off my weekend and tomorrow I am sleeping in....shhhhhh...don't bother me.

Pope visits our Mary and the Health Nazi sends one of her henchmen!

Well Popi is visiting mary Mckillop's grave as I type...this is the third Popi to visit and she still is being ignored...
She needs another miracle,
she is short one..
tragic isn't it?
Surely one miracle is enough??
Not for Popi, obviously.
I hope our Mary ArtyFarty has a little word in his ear when she has her "private" meeting with him today.
MAKE MARY McKILLOP A SAINT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!!!!
In the mean time, here we were thinking that we would get a nice easy stroll today and who turned up?
Dragon Lady!!!!!
Obviously the health Nazi passed the torch to her late last night cause her arse was on fire too!!!
Dragon Lady left us for dead, wheezing and coughing metres behind as she tore up the track.
Totally shameful.

Sore Thighs - Losing my Will to Live!

Thinking about:
....Watching "the One" last night - seeing poor young Mitchell being booted out.
Ouch.....he really did well and was dignified about leaving.Good on him!I could not have been judged in such a way cause I'm a wuss!
....The Pope in Oz - could the Muslims have done something similar and have been treated equally? What about us wiccans or pagans? What if we held "World Pagan Day" and carried around pictures of the Goddess in all her forms and faces?
....Michelle, and knowing that feeling of missing out on all the fun at the Cottage. Feeling left out, so far away from friends.We do love ya 'chell.
....Feeling the dynamics change at home with the man going back to work and being the main breadwinner again.
....missing the man, and knowing how important my relationship with him still is to me.
....thinking about close ones dealing and dying of cancer and how horrid that is.
....getting baby girl to get serious about school work and cleaning up her room.
....Feeling that my identity is one that I have 'settled' on - that I really do not know what my identity is.
Understanding that I am never really "enough" for anybody - that they think that I should be different, better, less, more, happier, funnier, prettier, more available, understanding, psychic, loving,optimistic,modern, trendy,capable - maybe I'll stop there.
How do I do all of that?
Most of the time I am just fumbling through, trying to keep my head above the water line...
....contemplating YAAD and what I am teaching and what it is teaching me.
....needing to find some real work and having no desire whatsoever to do so..