Saturday, March 22, 2008
It's Feaster - happy ho hum to all!
Question: What does one do with an 84 year old mother who chucks a temper tanty in the middle of 'Strandbags" cause her good for nothing daughter willl not allow her to buy the bag that SHE REALLY WANTS, but cannot open properly?
Answer: Let her buy it anyway and come home and have a glass of wine.
Question: What do you do with a child that will not eat vegetables ( only five solitary measly beans on her plate )?
Answer:Tell her there will be no easter eggs tomorrow and go and have another glass of wine.
Question: What do you do when you know that you should not be eating meat until tomorrow cause that is the freaking "tradition" in your family?
Answer: Have not one but two pieces of bbq steak for tea and follow it up with a third glass of wine!
Question: What do you do when all feaster it is raining?
Answer: Sleep in and watch movies - that one was easy.
Question: What do you do when you have to go to a boring family breakfast for Feaster Sunday and you would rather just sleep in and have dry toast and water in preference?
Answer: Suck it up and just do it. Avoid anything that looks like garlic and pork sausage in the shape of dismembered penises that have been boiled in water or "finger food" that consists of sausage rolls and chicken nuggets that do not contain anything that could be called "meat". Also avoid the same old cakes that got pulled out at Christmas and were not eaten because we have been eating the same cakes for the last 20 years now and are over them and especially avoid the rellies that have not seen your shaven head yet and who will spend many a merry moment pointing fingers and speaking in hushed voices so that I can just notice.
Also avoid father in law who will try to ply you will either cheap wine or port before you have had your first decent coffee for the day.....burp.
I feel heartburn coming on already!