Well my admission of life on Phart has been a relevation to all.
You are all a scream and it has lightened my load to admit to you all that I am really an alien being ( yes, I know that you ALL knew that and were discussing it behind my back anyway ).
Phart is a very gaseous planet at the edge of a very unknown and dark solar system known as Alpha Romeo.
Phartians do not really have a language as they communicate via psychic connections and so learning the earth language has been challenging.Especially when I heard earthlings using the word "fart" so openly. I really thought that you knew more about us then I was aware of until I noticed the different spelling.
I feel that I have fitted into your colony well but I have kept this a secret for too long.
I have no parents as such, we are all created in a big trough in the Phartian colonisation factory. Many mistakes are made and these are all sent to Earth - so there are many more of us here than you think!
Your best friend may be a Phartian and you don't know it.
Anyway......more details, to come, if you so wish..
Pharts to you all!