Hip! Hip! Hooray!!!

It has finally come..the last day.
Oh my goodness.I can hardly believe it. Tomorrow I am at home. Tomorrow I can drink as much water as I want and go to the toilet whenever I want.
Yes!
My last day consisted of being spat upon from the upstairs balcony and watching Mr.Sunshine walk back and forth itching to get close, but not crossing the line.
Oh what fun...
I was blessed with a visit from my friend Sandy, who stopped and had morning tea with me.
I then removed everything that I could, cut all the cable ties that were connecting the stand and holding it together and generally got ready for the crew to arrive at 4 to close down and remove the fixtures.
Wouldn't you know it - some stupid woman still wandered around at 5 minutes past four thinking she could take up more of my precious time and maybe buy a calendar - Ha! Was she wrong or what!
Lady - I am closed.
Can you not see that?
I am just looking she says.
No.no looking. No more looking.
Go away!
Ah..freedom. I can just remember what it felt like.
It has been 96 days.
Now it's time to catch up with the rest of my life and to finally process some of the experiences that I have placed on hold for the last two months.
Some sorting to do..
So here I go down the rabbit hole...

RIP Calendar Club!

2 more days and it's over for...well...most probably for another year.

I have had a bad headache for about 48 hours now and every bone in my body aches. I think I am ready.....to.....finish......now.

Can I go home please?

Friends

Friends are God's way of apologising to us for our families.

Thought of the Week!

If you want to hear God laugh... just tell him your plans!



Lots on at "Rose Cottage" in the next few weeks.
We start up again this coming Wednesday, 17th January.
Still only $10.Coffee and tea afterwards.
Starting at 7pm.
This Wednesday will be a night of welcoming back everyone.

In the coming weeks we have already booked in Helen Adams who will be presenting a talk on astrology ( 31/01/07 ) and Monika Kwong, our favourite crystal lady, who will be talking about clearing and cleansing with crystals ( 7/02/07 ) - there will also be crystals for purchase on the night.
Leanne will recommence Belly dancing on 29th Jan - Monday night at 6pm.
We are also planning Art workshops on Saturday afternoons with Michelle.
Friday night Drumming Circles with Larry.
Full moon group.
Awaken the Goddess evenings.
"Rose Cottage is also becoming environmentally active this year - we need to walk the walk as well as talk the talk and we will be participating in some environmentally based activities that will see us out and about in the community. Yay! (great idea Deb!)
So what's stopping YOU from coming along eh?
Nothing I hear you say.....
Well be there or be square!!!!

Single digits at last!

Oh Happy days....
I am down to single digits...nine days to go...woo hoo!!!
I think that it is finally slowing down now - toady sales were slow and I had a very quiet and relaxed day, even though I couldn't go to the toilet all day.
It is sooo exciting to know that it won't be long now and I will be FREE!
It will be great to get back into readings and Rose Cottage stuff.
Many changes to come this year, especially in my life - but I need time to think them through and till now I have not had time to do so.
Some things to consider and reconsider..but it's all too easy cause all you have to do is make a decision.
I miss reading books as well.
I have not had time to do so.
And then there's mother - I will have time to do so.

Hear ye! Hear Ye!

Ladies and Gentlemen - Rose Cottage will reopen for business as from next Wednesday 17th January 2007, for our first "Around the Cauldron".
Topic - "Welcome back - We missed you!!!!"
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!
PSSST.......PASS IT ON.

Last Days...

The infamous Khyber Pass - where they can stick their calendars!!!!

Tonight I got the man to print out some "last days" signs for me to put up at the calendar stand...oooohhh, so close I can almost believe it to be real.
Yeh, yeh, I know...I have two weeks left, but on Monday I go to 75% off and I want every bastard that walks past to buy a freaking calendar!!!
Considering that I just got another $65,000 worth of stock last Thursday and I will be getting another $45,000 worth 4 days before I close!
Yep, go figure!
Why am I getting this now?
Because it means that the company does not have to do the dirty work at the end of the sales season...us stupid operators will do it and the worst is....we do it for FREE!!!!!
Ewwww.
I so hate this part of the season.
It makes the end bitter sweet.
It just makes me bitter.
And any day now...I will say "I will never do this again."
"They can stick it up their khyber pass."
Oh well.
Such is life. I need to shut up and just get on with it.
This time next month I will be sitting enjoying a coffee with the Mary's.

Did anyone buy a calendar BEFORE Xmas????

Hey....what's going on?
Did anyone buy a calendar BEFORE Christmas? I thought that everyone had one by now.
I WAS WRONG!
Far out - how much can people buy?
I have served over 500 customers in the last two days, each one buying one, two, even three calendars.
It's crazy.
I have nothing left.But, just when you thought that I would run out..I am just about to get another load of calendars in a day or so. YAY....(not).
And guess what...next week, we are selling at 75% off. This is when people take everything that isn't tied down.
They are even buying my tractor ( yes...tractor) calendars.
Mmmmmmmmm..


And all the tight arse poodle owners ( this DOES NOT include you Raihn - you were one of my best customers, along with Mary Ankle )have come in over the last two days searching for a poodle calendar at half price cause they were too tight to get one at full price - and guess what? I haven't got any!!!Ha!
Serves them right.
I have had over twelve requests....


What am I going to do with myself when calendars sales are over?
I wonder?
Will have to find something new to bitch about won't I?

P.S.Mary of the many now paid for laybys..don't forget you are on tomorrow.
Bring long sharp stick please.
And metal tipped boots.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!

Here's wishing you all a blessed and happy start to the New Year.
I am hoping that 2007 will be a good one for me and my family and also for you and yours.
May our alliances continue to grow.
May our friendships continue to give us joy.
May everyone be strong and healthy.

Tonight is a wierd night - there are parties on either side of our house.I can already hear the laughter and noise.
We will be having a quiet one.

And tomorrow I can sleep in.....yay!!!!!
I just hope no idiot starts mowing thier lawn at 7 o'clock in the morning - there is always one bright spark in the neighbourhood, isn't there!
See you in 2007...

23 days to go - but who's counting!!!!

Yep - it's sale time and as all Mary's would tell you, it's bloody busy!!!
All calendars are now 50% off and all the morons comming in to buy them are 50% more stupid than before.
Oh - I know - I shouldn't say that about my beloved customers....
but it's true.
Now the one good thing about all of this is that I have only 23 days left and it cannot come quick enough.
I have been suffering from a feral throat and chest thing and am glad that the long hours have finally come to an end as they have really worn me out.
Back to normal working hours again...yay!!!!
Thank the Goddess for small blessings.

I think that I will have a very quiet New Year's Eve this year as the man is a bit wary about going anywhere and I am ...frankly, too tired.
Had a small idea about getting together down by the foreshore to see the 9 pm fireworks.....
How has everyone's year been and what are your New Year's resolutions????
Time to blog a list methinks???!!!

Happy Solar Invictus!

Yay...it's Solar Invictus Day and I am at home, having slept to a whopping 11.30!!!!!!!
Then I woke with a caffeine withdrawal headache, as normally I would have had my third cup by now.Mersyndol to the rescue!
But, I am home..all day.
And guess what?
I am also home tomorrow.....all day.
Yay!!!The man had prepared breakfast with lots of cold meats, fresh home baked sour dough bread (that the man had baked the day before) and condiments.
Then we had some freshly baked cakes - also cooked by the man the day before.
How good is that?!!
After mass over consumption of goodies, the girls and I headed out to visit my dad ( dearly departed) at the cemetary and sprinkled angels and sparkles on his grave. While there, we decided to hunt out the oldest grave site at the cemetary and go sprinkle some angel dust there too. Here lies Robert, for over 100 years - so we blessed his soul and sprinkled his decomposing grave site with angels and stars.We figured it had been a long long time since anyone had payed him a visit.
Then we went home and I lit a candle and burnt some incence and felt so much better....there really must be pagan in me.
I then mustered the strength to also go visit my mum and take her some of the man's cakes.It must be horrible being alone at Christmas and I felt sorry for her - but I could only take half and hour of her company. I think I did well.
I am currently staring at so much chocolate on our coffee table that I figure it will take at least a week to get through it - oh how painful....not!
Other than that, we will have a friend over tonight and that will be that.
I am very happy.
It is a very special Christmas.
My darling man is well and happily sitting at his computer responding to people from all over the world who are asking him about his cancer operation and asking for advice for themselves.
My darling man is here with me and will be snuggling next to me in bed tonight and all will be well.
I am a happy girl.
Hope all is well in your household too.

I know what Santa is doing tonight....

Christmas comes early!!!!

Finally the news has arrived...
THE MAN IS CANCER FREE !!!!!!
YAY!!!!!
His blood test results came in today - with a reading of 0.05 %
which means almost undetectable!!!!!!
YAY!!!!!!!
How good is that!!!!
We are over the moon!!!
Christmas has come early in the MaryBoss household!
Everything else is now "so whatever".

God please give me strength!

It's only a few days to go till Christmas and the work hours are killing me!!!
This Thursday night is the clincher.....we work till midnight!Yippee!!!!!!
I am an old woman...please have mercy...I am getting varicous veins where I have never had them before and I have RSI in my wrist from all the eftpos transactions that I process every day!
But - such is life.
At least sales have been good and thank goodness for all of the help from the Mary's who have been my life savers this year.

The man gets his blood test results tomorrow, which will tell us just how well he really is after the operation. He has been recovering slowly.Some things have come more easily, others are progressing more slowly. All in all, he is doing remarkably well.He is a very good house husband too - doing all the dishes and cooking me dinner almost every day.HOW GOOD IS THAT!!!
There has been a suggestion made that I keep working and that he stay at home on a permanent basis...mmmmmm....me not like that idea muchly.

Staff notice - please take note!

Dear Staffs -
This is important staff information and I believe that it may be of some use to you. I strongly recommend that you study it intensly.
MaryBoss.

Are you thinking of going to Charlestown Square this weekend?

Then better think hard!!!!!

Horror Movie stuff!

This morning I arrived at the Square at about 8.45 ( yes... over an hour before official opening time ) to find the Square had been taken over by zombie like aliens walking around the corridors with their empty shopping trolleys, stopping from time to time at different shop windows shouting 'Open the f**k up, it's two weeks to Christmas and I want to spend money!"
"And I want to spend it NOW!!!"
Hundreds of them, aimlessly hitting each other and bouncing off the walls with their trolleys and credit cards at the ready looking for anything they could buy.
It was like being trapped inside a horror movie.
"The Christmas of the Living Dead".
This little scenario has turned me right off Christmas.
I'm sorry.
I am now officially over it.
It has turned people crazy,silly,stupid and RUDE!
Why were these people there at that time of the morning?
Why weren't they at home having their first cup of coffee and giving their children a cuddle.
Instead, these semi humans had chosen to frighten the livin beJesus out of me!!!
Thanks...
I needed that. Not!

Mr.Sushine gets taken down!

Well, it did not take long for Mr.Sunshine to try again.I am glad that I filled in a complaint form about him yesterday, as today, at 8.30, he and his girlfriend came by and waited for my reaction yet again.
This time I would not let it pass - I asked him to move on and leave me alone,and when he refused I called security as he stood there in front of me,laughing hysterically like some demented mad man, while his wonderful girlfriend looked on in glee.
I told her off more than I did him, as I was disgusted by the fact that, as a woman, she was allowing him to harrass other women while she just looked on. That, in my mind, was lower than low and I told her so.
He is an idiot moron, but she is worse for standing by and allowing him to continue.

Well, security arrived and we had a number of name calling exchanges, where I was called a liar and such, but in the end they were escorted out of the Centre and straight to the police station where he was allegedly charged and will be banned from the Centre for one month.
Somehow, I do not think that it will be enough to keep him away and I really feel that I will be seeing him again soon.
But for now - the arsehole is gone! Yay!!!!!!!!!

Hey Mr.Sunshine - You're going down!!!

Well, you have heard me talk about Mr. Sunshine before.He is the wierdo who walks around the square every day stopping people and telling them to have a good day and to keep smiling.Sounds harmless eh? This guy is fully psycho!He has harrassed me for weeks with little comments and hysterical laughter every time he walks past.So today I put in an official complaint.I have bided my time trying to ingore the arsehole - he comes past at least two or three times a day, but today tipped the scales.He made one comment that was just too rude and I am not going to put up with it any longer.
Mr.Sunshine - watch out! You are going down!!!
Otherwise it was a day of weirdness! So many angry people - such bad energies.I just wanted to come home.Yuk!
Sometimes the square is one nasty son of a bitch place to be!
I miss my home. I miss my family.
I am so glad that the Mary's are helping out.

A rather large erection

Yes...I agree.It is rather a large erection and it is in my loungeroom!
No.the tree did not come from Retravision, Mary of the many Lay bys.
We got it from Grace Brothers many years ago when it was on sale because it was a demo tree on the floor. The staff dismantled it and put it in a cardboard box from a fridge for the man to take home.
It takes us a few nights to put up as we only do a bit at a time, but it has now become a yearly tradition - even though I was fairly close to getting rid of it this year ( I was booed down by the rest of the clan).
When all the lights are on..you can almost have a seizure! But it's worth it.
You must come by and have a Capt. Cook!
The man is doing well - he is actually doing some short walks and is sleeping a little better.
I am contemplating pitching a tent somewhere in the carpark of the Square seeing that over the next three weeks I will just about be living there.Should be super fun...if you are comming to the Square to shop please remember to bring alcoholic beverages for Boss Mary!

You call those Christmas Trees?

Yep! You have seen the rest....now see the best!
Now this is a Christmas Tree!!!!!!

The Power of Stupid

Ahh! Nothing like being trapped with millions of people at Christmas time in a very large shopping centre!

My Glass is now half empty!

Yay!!!!
I am now officially half way through the Calendar Club season.
I have ONLY 50 days to go.
The sales have turned up a notch or two with Mary of the Blessed Lay-bys having her first taste of pre Christmas madness at the Square today.Hey Mary...it got worse when you left. I thought the eftpos machine was going to spontaniously combust with the amount of transactions I was processing!
Meanwhile, the man is slowly recouperating. He is restless, not being used to doing so little - and is tending to do more than he should be.
I am just bloody tired.

Another day in paradise!

D - Day for Catheter

Its been a week already since the big op and tomorrow the man get to have the catheter that has been sharing our bed and his leg removed.YAY!
We removed the bandages from his incisions today...just to have a look.
I also got to watch a part of a taped radical prostatectomy on the computer (from a medical site)and they showed how the prostate is removed via the incision made just above the belly button. Totally amazing.
The man has a stitch in three of the incisions and three stitches in the other two.
Wow again...
All of us will now have our very own pads in the bathroom cabinet..the man will have his, I will have mine and our daughter will have hers.
Life is not back to normal..yet
I am just tip toeing through.

Facing the demons.

The man is HOME! YAY!!!!
The op is now over and we await biposy results.
I felt such intense happiness when I first saw him waiting in the entrance of the hospital when I went to pick him up on Thursday night.
I could finally see him, feel him and touch him.
It was good.
He is recovering well.

I am unaccustommed to feeling such fear. But the fear of losing my life partner was just way too intense.It really messed with my mind.

The man was truly the brave one.He went into it head long. There was no other option in his mind and I am astounded by how he has come through. Always a joke ready. Always seeing his predicament as being minor compared to the plight of others who are having more serious health issues.

We also did manage to collect the appropriate medicinal provisions from the Queen Victoria Markets before departure i.e.Polish jam donuts, almond croissants and other assorted cakes and pastries to assist in the man's recovery.
Again, thank you to you all...for your kindness and concern.
Thank you for your support and caring.

Signing off for a while

Hey folks..
Letting you all know that I will not be blogging for a little while...somehow the words are just not comming.
Will be back soon.

Inspirational thought of the week!
DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK..THEY DON'T DO IT VERY OFTEN.
Oh so true.

I have been at my spot at the mall for 35 days now and have been abused for stealing the seating at least once, but mostly twice a day.
Today was no different..only the techniques have changed, cause the same people are coming back to abuse me.
Firstly, it was the blatant, "where have you put our seats!"
Now they have come back and see that I am still there, so they pretend they are going to buy a calendar and come up to me and ask " how long are you going to be here?" followed by " you know our seats used to be here".
But the best is when they come up with their trolleys and stop right in front of my desk..sigh heavily, grab at their backs in fake pain,gasping.."Oh God, I do't think that I can make it any further..if my seats were STILL HERE, I would be able to sit down!!!!" loudly enough for me to hear them.
Subtle eh..freaking old farts...
I hope Santa takes all their dentures on Christmas Eve and flushes them down the toilet!That will fix em...
The Jeweller right next to us got robbed today...some guy just walked in and lent straight over the counter with a shop full of staff and people and proceeded to take two items worth about $10,000 off a back wall display!
He was out of there before anyone could do a thing about it...lovely.
Must have been doing his Christmas shopping..

Serious Mary Meltdown!

Had one serious meltdown yesterday...it was bound to happen at some point..needless to say that there will be more. I have promised 'the man' to stay strong and send positive energy his way..and I will try. I promise.
Good thing that I had a bottle of Bach Rescue Remedy under the desk at work. I think I had half a bottle yesterday but the bloody stuff works.
It's getting busier now at the Square. People are buying 5,6,7 calendars at once rather than the one or two that they were getting a few weeks ago.They are much happier to part with their money now that Christmas is only 6 weeks away!
Went to Rose Cottage tonight and was part of a super fantastic drumming circle held by Larry, Michelle's (arty farty Mary)partner.
What a hoot - I am sure that the whole of Waratah new what we were doing.
I played with a gong for most of the night and irritated everyone...and I got to have a go of Larry's super duper bongos. Wow!!!I loved that.There were 17 of us going off...thanks Larry - it really lifted my spirits and I am sure it had the same effect on everyone else.
I am sure there will be pictures being posted on the other blog sites as I write.

One month down - two to go!

It has already been one month since I started Calendar Club. My, how time flies when you are enjoying yourself..
I can handle it much better when I am busy but when it is slow I lose my will to live.It is so boring, I have nothing to do and know that I could be using this time to be vacuming at home, cleaning, ironing,shopping, cooking, hang on....maybe I should just enjoy the boredom?
"The man" has nine days and had to go and buy some slippers and a dressing gown for hospital saying that it would be inappropriate to get around in an old t shirt and tracky daks in el posho expensivo hospitalo!
So he went and brought slippers with Bart Simpson on them....Classy, very classy.
We are having some 'final meals' with friends this week cause after that the man wants to be 'left alone' for a while to recuperate in peace. Understandable.I wish I could do more for him, but will be stuck at Charlestown Square being bored.

Barramundi Man spotted!

If you have read my blog over the last week or two you will know about Barramundi Man. He comes every year, does a swoop of the stand and then heads straight for the "Models" section to have a good perve. He is always dressed the same way year after year, in a hat with sharks teeth around the edge,or a nothern territory cap, a barramundi T- shirt and shorts and a lurid look on his face.
Well, yesterday was the day....like clock work.
Then there's the young guy, a few sandwiches short of a picnic who wears his tracky pants up around his armpits colorfully co-ordinated with a hawaiian print shirt who pretends to look at every other calendar until he thinks I cant see and then goes to have a good perve at the models section, gets sprung and walks off with a stiffy...ewwwwww!!
Then there are the morons looking for calendars of Pomeramiams, Laksma Ashpos, Dovermans,Westfield Highfield Terriers,and several other dog breeds that I have to translate to make some semblence of sense out of...pure joy!
On the other side of the fence 'the man' got a free sample pack of nappies to try for his period of incontinence that he faces when he comes out of hospital - He modelled one for me and I told him that Michael Jackson used to pay good money to wear ones just like that......until he got sprung.
Life is a box of chocolates, isn't it?!!

But it's so expensive!

The conversation went like this....
"How much is this guinea pig calendar?"
"It's $21.95".
"$21.95?!!But that's so expensive....well, they do love their guinea pigs...but it's so expensive..are you sure that's the price?".
I turn the calendar over and show Mrs. Tightarse Pensioner the RRP on the back.
"Yes..that's right ...it's $21.95".
"I normally wouldn't spend so much on a calendar..but they do love their guinea pigs".
Waiting....waiting...
"I would not normally pay so much for a calendar...they own guinea pigs you know."
"Mmmm"
Another customer approaches with a purchase.
"Is his calendar also $21.95?"
"No, his is $23.95 - he has a 'Hot Buns' Calendar (female models).Maybe you would like that one?"
"Oh no.....I normally don't spend so much on a calendar...It's so expensive..
Mmmmm....$21.95"
"Mmmm"
"Well, ok then..I guess I will buy it then - I am being so extravangant! $21.95 for a calendar!!"
Smoke is seen comming out of my ears!!!
She pays...she leaves mumbling.."so expensive"
I guess she will go home, have a Bex and a good lie down.

Life is one big box of calendars

Well, I know that I am being tested by the arseholes at Calendar Club, cause they have chosen to see whether they can break my back by sending me three pallets of calendars this week, that's over 1000 kilos and then another pallet of 102 kilos which was dispatched today.
At the moment I am putting in 12 hour days, and thank God for the help of my mother in law and 'the man' who are bravely pretending that all is ok and that the world has not gone mad!!
So forgive me for not blogging on a regular basis for the next week, I will be in the garage with my 1000 kilos of calendars finding a vacant orifice to place them in.
I could think of a few orifices I would like to put them, but I would have to send them back to Melbourne, which would mean I would have to spend extra money.
Meanwhile, sweating out operation countdown and slowly tying myself in knots.

Hi Tech Surgery

How much would you pay to see your loved one well and free of disease?
Everything that you had? Yep - without a doubt. You would do it in a heartbeat!
So this is why the man is going to Melbourne to have his surgery. Professor Testicleremover is THE BEST - he invented the bloody machine that is going to be used to do the surgery - he has a world patent on his wall, along with a signed photo of George Bush Senior and various other famous people, including the Packers who thank him for his work and dedication.
He uses a technique called robotic surgery (not done in NSW).
A huge robotic device enters the body through 5 small incisions in the stomach area and the professor sits about a metre away with his head in a huge microscope thingy that allows him to manipulate the robotic arms to cut and stitch with the utmost precision.
What this means is that there is a greater chance to preserve the nerves that run near the prostate and are needed to insure continence and erection probability in the future.
As the man is so young, he has a good chance to regain all uses given time.For every man it is different - but definately harder the older the patient is.
The other type of surgery is what is called open surgery, where the doctor makes a large cut in the lower abdomen or near the anus and goes in through muscles and such and causes a lot more damage to nerves and tissue in the process.
The second type of surgery is much more invasive and recovery is a lot longer.
We envisage the man going in on Tuesday 21st November ( yep - that's D Day!) with one day in recovery and he is up and ready to travel home by Friday. Totally amazing and achievable all going well.
The result?
We don't know until a byopsy is done at the time of surgery - then we will know if all the cancer has been taken or whether the man will require further treatment as in radiotherapy or hormone therapy.
This this is not the end of the story - this is the beginning.
We need to get through this stage to get to recovery stage and then take it day by day - incontinence pad by incontinence pad!
I just want him alive and home so that I can continue to breath.
At the moment I feel drained and tired.The man is holding up and is much stronger than I am. I crumble like a hysterical mad woman and cannot bear to think about it all for too long.
Our short time in Melbourne was great - even though the Victoria markets were closed we made due with a trip to a Greek cake shop to buy a dozen creamy, chocolatey, delicious cakes..yum. Part of the man's therapy, of course!
I love Melbourne - must go there more often.
To all of you who have sent their wishes over the last few days and have waited for info, we again thank you!
I have felt so much heartfelt support from you all that it is truely uplifting.
The man has been overwhelmed and is also very thankful.
Our love to you all.

Gremlins in the Blog machine!

Is it only I that is having problems posting lately or are other bloggers being sabotaged too?
Must be aliens in the ether - or are we blogging so much that we are creating a systems meltdown....
I had Mr.Garlicbreath today..
He approached from around the corner and before I knew what was happening, it hit me! A tornado of semi digested pungent garlic breath eminating from an abbyss edged with half rotten teeth..yewwwwww!!!!
I think he melted away the top layer of skin on my face before I could take a step back and take a breath..what was it that he wanted? Who cares!I told him I didn't have it hoping he would just GO AWAY!!!
Yet another day in paradise!

The week that was....

This was week number 2 of 14 and what a big week it was!
The comming week will prove to be bigger with a trip to Melbourne to see Dr.Testicleremover and to learn what the next phase of the "C" story will be.
Had a 'moment' this afternoon when the world stopped turning and I gave the whole affair a little too much thought.
The worst news of all is that the Queen Victoria Markets will be closed on Wednesday and we cannot stock up on smelly Polish sausage and jam donuts.Oh no!!!!
I encountered "Mr.Sunshine" today. This is yet another crackpot that frequents the Square and chooses to bother me and other patrons while thinking that he is oh so amusing."Hi love, how are you! Keep smiling - I want to see a smile on your face - now!!" As he stares at you with those piercing repugnant weedy eyes.Yuch!Creepfest central!
Then there was the lady that spent half an hour tellng me about the way her staffy dog spins and spins around the kitchen so cutely..oh, whatever lady, just buy a bloody record and get lost...oh and by the way she came back ten minutes later to tell me that she could not do her grocery shopping before going to the doctor's cause if she went to the doctor's with bread in her bag the bread would get contaiminated with germs from the doctor's office....oh my lord!!!
How I love retail!

Are these records?

If I hear that statement one more time, I will kill someone!
Get over it people....I AM NOT SELLING RECORDS OK!!!!!
I have come to the conclusion that reading the back and front cover of my calendars is as close as some people will ever get to reading a piece of literature!
I thought lobotomy's were illegal, but there have certainly been a few performed on local inhabitants of Newcastle.
Am I beginning to sound bitter and twisted?
Well, it has been almost two weeks - only 12 more to go!

It's all happening this week.
The man has been summoned by Dr.Testicleremover to Melbourne to have his wallet and its contents permanently dislodged from his hip pocket.
Yes...consultation number one coming up, so we are all heading down for a quick 24 hours in the Victorian capital.
Some quick planning has the shop taken care of and all under control.
But I will be missing Beltane festivities at the Cottage, bugger!

Blogger identities revealed!

Today I met two bloggers who came and visited me at Charlestown Square.
You know who you are!
I must say, it was great to see you both, but I was not at my cheeriest. Maybe the fact that it was Thursday night shopping, when the feral hordes descend on the Square.
Also the fact that Michael Hill Jewellers had a sprucker sending me into violent fits of hysteria because of her constant prattle on a loud speaker since 8.30 in the morning.Maybe, because I had to send staff home to pick up a delivery of calendars that never came till late and I was tired.
Maybe....
Maybe because I was asked at 9 oclock in the morning whether I had a calendar of Monkeys in the kitchen working....
Maybe....
Sorry girls, I am usually more sparky then that!
Next time I will be better, I promise.
Come again!

Staff number two starts her 3 month trial today!

Staff member number two, Mary Raihn came on board today and arrived early....then promptly went to buy coffees for both of us ( scoring high brownie points here!!! )
I must admit Mary Raihn is one smooth staff member, schmozzing the customers big time, calling the old timers 'darling' and handing out pocket calndars like there was no tomorrow!
Boss Mary was very impressed and I must say that my two new Staff Marys are totally cool and perfect. I am truely blessed.
Things are progressing slowly and both ladies will get to become 'more experienced' as the weeks go on and it gets more busy.
My feet hurt less this week, but I have thrown away the idea of looking totally professional in neat shoes, black stockings and short skirt and gone to comfortable but daggy pants,black socks and totally flat shoes.
Terribly unglamorous and dowdy...but hey, that's no different than any other time.
Why did I even think that I could look good and work 10 hour days?
Waste of time - thank you Sandy for coming in at 4.30 today and saving me from a nasty bladder accident..Phew!!!

Sunday!

One week completed and only 13 to go - it's a breeze....NOT!!!
Today was Sunday trading and as slow as hell. I was bored and could not get motivated to be at my selling best.Worst trade day to date, but overall the week has been much better than last years first week.
A guy came up to the counter this morning and I noticed he had a worm on his shirt collar. It was wriggling as he talked to me and so I commented to him that he had a worm on his shirt. First he thought that I was having a piece of him but the woman I was serving said that there was actually a worm on his shirt.
At that point the man got irrate and told us both to mind our own business and that if he did have a worm on his shirt, it was his worm and he was entitiled to have it wherever he wanted to have it.
I was going to suggest that he obviously had an even smaller worm in his pants, but thought it best not to go there.
I vowed and declared at that point that I would never tell another man that he had a worm on his shirt ever again!

S.W.A.T. Marys!

Last night I collapsed into bed, one very tired Mary.
Unfortunately, I ate too much before bed and watched S.W.A.T. on tv, which then produced a most vivid dream including the rest of the Mary's and led to me oversleeping and being very late to work this morning.
Yes - there we were, the Marys and me. We were being fitted out in hi-tech swim togs for a secret S.W.A.T. mission! We had arrived by black van to an undisclosed location and led into a fitting room where we proceeded to get these rubbery full length body suits for our scuba diving adventure ( shades of support hose deja vu in there somewhere).
Mary Raihn chucked a spack cause her cossy didn't fit and walked off totally pissed mumbling, "I've had a gutful!". My cossy consisted of a long shirt thingy that went all the way to the ankles with no pants, but I thought that I could tie it up somehow and make it work without drowning and Mary Ancell's fitted perfectly ( bitch Mary!).
I then left Mary Anchell looking quite chuffed that her bum did not look too big in her rubber suit and ran after Mary Raihn yelling that all would be well..we had a mission to complete!!!!!We were S.W.A.T Marys!
Oh yes!!!!Then I woke up and realised that I should have been on the road and at work right about then, so I ran out the door and having made good time and set up before the hordes of plebs arrived to part with their hard earned dracma, got totally abused by a 70 year old stupid fart of a woman for having "stolen her chairs" and where was she going to sit now after she got her medication from the Chemist???!!!
I suggested she start a petition to "get rid of the calendar lady who has stolen our chairs and where are we going to meet with the rest of our stupid, old, sensless pensioner friends to whinge the rest of the day away?" She told me to have a nice day.
I told her to......
have a nice day too!

The week that was....

This was the week that saw me:
1.Be happy that the man's test results came back negative - so next step is the BIG OP!
2.Go back to work ( what WAS that last word? )
3.Cut off the circulation to the lower part of my body by wearing support stockings.
4.Nearly breaking both wrists by trying to put said stockings on and take them off.
5.Managing not going to the toilet once in 12 hours - that was today.
6.Seeing the most horrible hairy arse crack ever ( well, since Calendar Club last year)-Ewwwww! This poor girl had so much arse crack hair you could style it!!!!
7.Get repulsed by the fact that some simple minded moron left their chewed gum stuck to my cash register when I wasn't looking - Ewwwww!
8.Eat too much food too late at night and then bloating like a zeppelin.
9.Become addicted to chocolate popcorn from the popcorn shop next to my stand at Charlestown Square.
10.Have dark rings around one eye only.
11.Not be able to stand on my feet when I got up in the morning cause they hurt so much from standing!
12.Amost getting through my first week.
13.Lasting till day 5 before getting really pissed off with my moron customers who cannot read , think I sell records and cannot put anything back the way they found. it.
14.Be abused repeatedly by old aged pensioners who claimed that I "stole" their seats and when was I going to kindly leave so that they could park their sorry saggy old arses back down on the seating provided by the centre right in front of the Chemist where I now am.

96 days to go!

Yay!!! I have gotten through the first two days of work but have extremely aching feet. I remember my feet aching lke this when I used to go out dancing on a Friday night( days of disco)and I could not manage to get back to my car the pain was so bad. Now the pain is from standing on them for 10 hours a day.
This usually subsides by about day 7 or 8 at which stage they just go numb and I am fine after that.
Had the obligatory " are you selling records? I thought you couldn't buy them any more!" comment yesterday. Within a hour of opening too! How competely stupid!!!!
But then I have'nt seen Mr Barramundi Man this season yet - he is a classic!
Every year he comes in with his "uniform" of barramundi t- shirt and barramundi cap, shorts and thongs and goes straight to the girlie section and drools for about 15 minutes and then goes away.Ewwwwwww!
Yes, he comes back over and over again!
Had my first "Staffy" in today - Arty Farty Mary!
She did real well - Brains as well as beauty ......mmmmm!
For those of you who have not heard, the man got back the rest of his test results and we can breathe easy as the cancer has not spread. So, next step is to send results to specialists for a second and third opinion on who is going to perform the operation. At least one bit of good news this week - yay!!!

End of Freedom as I know it!

Well today is the last day before Calendar Club starts...I see my life flashing before my eyes.I have already started the countdown....only 98 days to go!
I know, it's so sad - I have not worked full time for many years ( not hard to tell eh)and it means my freedom and flexibility is being taken away for the next three months.I go through this agony every year. The man will finally see me doing some 'real work', he just wishes it didn't involve so much of HIS time.
I am pretty lucky to have it - I am, really.I should be working full time,but can't due to many factors, so the whole famly chips in now and we all get to make a bit of pocket money to keep us going.
This afternoon we will head down to Charlestown to set up. This will take a few hours.The kiosk is installed by the man and his cousin (thank's cuz)then the women will move in and throw on the calendars as quickly as possible as we have a tight time frame to do it all.We are all frazzeled by the end.
I am hoping this season will be a good one, although in 98 days anything and everything can and will happen!

The pungent aroma of Chinese herbs!

Mmmmm! My house smells like the back of a Chinese restaurant on garbage night!!!And the man has to drink it, poor soul. I feel for him as I watch him pinch his nose and skull!
You know the intention of taking Chinese herbs is to frighten the body into recovery.

I have decided to put a sign up at my calendar kiosk that says, "BUY A CALENDAR - WE NEED THE MONEY!"
Somehow I do't think my boss will like that - but I do!

Talked to my "STAFF" members today - Lisa and Michelle ( aka Hairy Mary and Arty Farty Mary ) and boy..they ARE PUMPED!!!!!Can't wait to see how quickly the smile gets wiped off their faces, but I am deeply glad of their help and assistance.Thanks Mary and Mary! Shall I put that of your badges girls?
I am beginning to stress awfully - just had three wagon wheels without even blinking, but we seem to have most eveything under control for Monday.
Only two days left to sleep in...so don't ring me before 10am world! You hear?

Happy Birthday to me!

So,it was my birthday today and I managed to avoid most of the family...I really just felt like a quiet one this time around.
We had stuff to do and places to go - so we headed off to our Chinese herbalist and proceeded to pay out good money to be given a few bags of what looks like garden mulch (check picture!).The man has to make a nasty brew out of this suff and skull it twice a day. It stikes fear into the strongest of constitutions..but it works!
Then we had lunch at Jewels Tavern - highly recommended.
I had an enormous chicken schnitzel with an unfortunate looking mushroom sauce that looked like spew - but it tasted nice!
I went to Charlestown Square to introduce myself to the 'neighbours' namely Crazy John's and Terry White Chemist to be told by the guys at the chemist that they really don't like the fact that I will be blocking their stream of traffic with my kiosk for the next three months and that they will be takng it up with centre management.
Oh dear, here it goes!!!!
Hope I don't have to move - there is nowhere else for me to go.
Things went from mad to bad with a few more phone calls and problems to be sorted and by 4 oclock we still had not heard from the doctor. So the man made a call and was told that he would have to wait till Monday as his doctor had left for his holidays.
I am spending the evening drinking cock sucking cowboys which the man got me for my birthday...that should make me happy!

Making a meal from an apple pie!

Well, life goes on and as I am approaching Calendar Club time ( next week!!!)I took my mother out for the morning to hear her whine at me about how she will not be seeing me over the next few months and that I am not to forget that she is alive and how could I be deserting her etc,etc,etc.
So we go to McDonald's, which is her all time favorite food and I order her the obligatory McChicken, which I have to have three quarters of and she has a quarter, and an apple pie.
Now, we got through the burger ok, but then it was time for the apple pie.
My mother eats v e r y slowly. So slowly it is painful to watch.
But how can it take 15 minutes to eat half a McDonalds Apple Pie?
Yes..15 minutes.
I watched her twist and turn it, forget what she was doing half way through, remember again, suck out the apple, try to soften it with gulps of tea and twist and turn it over and over again.
I was patient..you would have been proud.
One of her main problems is the fact that her dentures, which were made for her when she was probably 40, no longer fit snugly and tend to move about a bit. The other problem is that half a piece of toast is now a "big meal".
I look forward to mushy food time - not!

A genuine thank you, again, to all of you that have sent their love and best wishes to us at this time. I cannot say enough just how much it has meant to us to just know that you care and are praying for the best outcome. It has meant the difference between curling up into a little ball in the darkest corner of my bedroom and being able to continue functioning.
We get back the results of the man's CT and Bone scans tomorrow and these are important ones as it will tell us how bad this beastie really is.

A Ton of Calendars!

Our stock arrived today!We now have a ton of calendars in our garage and strewn throughout the house. Yes - really. A ton of calendars arrived today and our fabulous delivery driver then proceeded to lift them off the truck and whilst almost breaking our letter box and scratching our driveway surface, he lost control of the pallet lifter and 480 kgs of calendars flew off and down our driveway in quite a ceremonious heap. Oh my God - now I had to take each box down by hand!
That took an hour.
Then my mother in law and I started the stock inventory. We have been at it for 10 hours between us and I have called it a day. There is probably about five hours to go before we get organised.
We have calendars about everything you can think about AND MORE!
Anyone want a calendar? Please?

Incontinence nurse?

My - how your world can change in just a few days!
I would have liked to have spent today going to lunch with the man and my daughter, maybe a movie or bowling ( haven't done that in ages ).Maybe a trip to Nelson Bay and a walk by the water. Maybe lunch with friends..
Instead, I was called by my increasingly dementia ridden mother at the crack of dawn with the question, "Is that you?".
Why did she call? Well, I really am still not sure - she just remembered something at 6 oclock in the morning and just had to share it with me. Not happy Jan!!!!!
Then I got on the phone to a specialist in Melborune who performs prostate surgery using state of the art machinery. They sent us info via email (how great is that!). We found out the price of this ( actually less than we were expecting ) even though it will be about $15,000, as we are not covered by private health insurance, if we want to go down that path.
Then, it was an appointment to our local GP and organising a possible "plan" for care for the next few months.
We were on the phone then to the 'incontinence nurse ' to talk about aspects of the post operation period if the cancer is found to be contained.
The man asked me, 'Where do we buy adult nappies from?' and I told him that we would cross that bridge when we came to it.
Then it was to Medicare to get some money back from some of the bills that we have already incurred.
Later I went to the Library and got about 8 books on prostate cancer to look through and also info about acid/alkaline balance in the body and its effects on our health.
And so the day was gone and I sat in the car telling the man what a fun day it had been!
I would have preferred to go to lunch with friends....

Is the world still turning?

I woke up this morning and for a split second, before full consciousness set in..everything felt normal.
Then I realised that it was just Sunday and I was suffering prostate cancer overload.
I now realise why people just get on with their daily lives, go to work, buy the groceries etc.. after such devestating news.There has to be some normality, some sort of routine kept up or the 'big c' takes over everything.
We are more upbeat today - Aleks is very positive and has made a rule that we must stay happy.
Between my husband and I, we have looked at so many web sites over the past 24 hours about prostate cancer that we have had enough.Its all just a jumble of information.
I have said that I will be giving the man reiki each day and we are going to look at changes in diet and exercise.
Tomorrow ,it's on the phone to make many calls and some enquiries.
I might be fooling myself into thinking that all of this is giving me some control back - but that is my opinion only.
The man is strong and he is willing to do what ever it takes and so am I.
I AM NOT prepared for any further bad news - so these tests on Wednesday are not something I am relishing. One more straw will break the camel's back.
The man has spent the day with some mates watching Bathurst and having a drink or two, or three or four..can't blame him.

Does anyone have a magic wand? Or know a good miracle worker?
My wand is up to shit..and I need help now!!!
So let me know, ok?

The Big 'C'.

Just when you thought that life might just slip one quietly past you....you were dreadfully wrong and the world came crashing down instead.
Well, I really was not expecting my darling to come home and tell me that he had cancer...but he did, and we now have to deal with it.
I have to thank all of you for your wishes and prayers. You have all been so kind and I have passed on all your messages to the man.
He is being very brave and sees it all in the logical way he sees everything. I am the one that falls apart, and that's what I did.
I was very angry yesterday and in shock.I just could not believe it - I was so sure that he would walk in and say that everything was fine.
I really believed that I had received an affirmation of a good outcome.
So, I felt cheated and very angry.
My faith has been tested and I am far from being accepting of this. I do not want to learn any lesson and I do not want to go through this particular trial.
My husband is a good man and does not deserve to have this in his life.
Unbelievably if he had not gone to his doctor he would have never known.
He had no pain, no symptoms..nothing.
It was just his hunch to go have a simple blood test just to make sure everything was ok.
People his age do not get this..he is too young.

Today I am slightly numb but at least not crying.
Where do we go from here?
The man needs more tests to see how this has spread or if it is contained - so that is the next hurdle.These tests will go ahead in a few days.
From there we will see what our options are.
Thats all I can say.

Waiting...waiting

I am sitting here in the loungeroom waiting for my husband to return from the specialist with his results from the biopsy he had two weeks ago on his prostate.
This is agony....the specialist is running late and my husband should have been home by now.
I have eaten everything that isn't bolted down just so I am doing something and feel rather ill, so I thought that I would blog instead.
How do you wait for information like this?
Even the mere possibility of cancer is too much to consider - how do people do this?
Anyway....
Yesterday our fixtures arrived for our calendar kiosk. Now I know it's "FOR REAL" and we are truely committed.
My daughter asked me yesterday, " Mum, how many days does Calendar Club go for?".
All I could say is, "Too many" and left it at that.
For anyone who doesn't know, Calendar Club is a seasonal business that I commit to every October to January where I sell calendars at a local shopping complex from a kiosk.
It's where I make my "real" money.
I work on commission and my whole family is involved. My husband builds the kiosk and helps organise me and pulls me into line when I become the "drama queen from hell". He does maintanence and all the physical hard work.
My older daughter helps sell calendars on her days off and my younger daughter whinges and says that I am continully telling her to "hurry up" and that I am constantly in a bad mood.
My mother in law helps at the kiosk and does all the book work - which is HOURS of work.Each item has to be checked in and out otherwise we get charged for it at full price at the end of the season and have to wear the cost if it is stolen or a mistake on the part of the company having charged us incorrectly.
My mother's house is used as a storage facility for boxes and excess and our house becomes a shed with calendars in every available orifice, garage, bedrooms, hallways etc...It's so much fun just before Christmas.
We have a crazy Christmas with only two days off ( maybe it will only be one day this year if trading happens on boxing day ) and I work about 90 hours per week during the season - each day selling at the kiosk and then the bits and pieces when I get home, like banking, stock selection, bookwork etc.
By the end of the season I am 'cactus' and counting the days to the end.
Of course my psychic stuff gets put on hold and I wind down readings and my contribution to Rose Cottage which makes me feel totally guilty - as I wish I was there but can't be.
By the way....I am still waiting for my man to walk through the door....

So, come and see me and buy a Calendar. I am at Chalestown Square, lower level near the Chemist - plus I will probably be needing a coffee and to go the the toilet!
I can't write any more..I think I will go eat something...it's been at least 10 minutes since the last time I put food in my mouth..

Where were you in 1975?

I am sitting here watching a program on what was hot in 1975 - Remember Sherbet?
Didn't they turn evil when they started wearning make up! My best friend ran their Newcastle based fan club and that is all I heard about. Boy, the stories she made up about what when on between the boys and her on a weekend at a gig! I knew it was all lies, but I let her go anyway cause she used to give me free Sherbert albums.Apparently the guys were'nt keen on the make up either, but that was the craze - especially with the likes of Kiss and the american bands with so much long permed hair and tight, tight pants...and the glossy silver eye shadow.
You could still get a decent cream bun and cream horn at the shop. (Yum)
What about flaired pants.....I remember having a pink pair - oh so stylish!
1975 was over 30 years ago - oh my God!!!!I was in high school and hated it. I would go to my friend's place before school every day and we would walk to school together and always be late.
That seems such a long time ago - yes...I AM old.

Psychic Weekend

The last two days have been spent at Salamander Bay ( about an hour's drive from Newcastle) at a Psychic Fair where I was doing readings.
I have come to accept that these events will never make me 'oodles' of money, but I enjoy the company of other psychics and its great for networking.
So with that intent I enjoyed the weekend and the few readings that I did do were very rewarding. I got a lot of valuable feedback that made me very happy with where I am currently at capability wise and the advice and discussion amongst the other psychics is always a learning opportunity.
I returned this afternoon feeling very ordinary indeed and was happy to be back with my family who I am missing very much at the moment.
I hate spending too much time away from them and now with the added worry of the health of my hubby it makes each moment together even more important.
I got some special crystals from Monika, the crystal lady, to give my husband to wear for a while while all this crap gets sorted..Thanks Monika.
Anniversary of Bali bombing at Jimbaran Bay today. The Balinese are doing badly.Tourism has not recovered..always the same...a small number of arse holes spoil it for everyone else.
Long weekend - tomorrow is a holiday for most.What are you doing?