Just like the rabbit in Alice!

Well I am pushing it all the way...."I'm late, I'm late" said the white rabbit!

Mum seems ok at the moment, but I only see one side of her - the side she deems to show me.
Have tried to fit in eveything that I need to do and am feeling the pinch falling flat some nights in a tired stupor with a need just to go to bed and sleep.
Little baby girl had her first real day at work today with a few hours at her new place of employment. She learnt about the cash register and serving etc and is excited about getting her first pay later this week.

May not be about for much this week - tomorrow is another day, who knows what it will hold!

The Show must go on!!!

Well its on again for young and old.
Mum's idea of care and our idea of care are turning out to be two different things.
We cannot manage being there 24 hours a day and my brother is being called at 2am in the morning to come over to make her a cup of tea cause she cannot tell day from night and is up at all hours wondering why it is dark and why she is alone!
She is now really scattered having spent time at the respite centre where eveything was done for her and now expecting the same at home.
So, it now goes to plan 365A.......
we are trying for the Polish respite centre in Sydney which wants an arm and a leg to get her in...
this is all tentative depending on her mood with regard to this idea and whether we can get her in and whether we can get her there and when we can get her there and what sort of fuss she makes in the mean time....and...and....
at least there everyone will be speaking her language but I know it is so far away and it is very expensive as all nursing homes are, and if this happens we will have to sell her house post haste which means cleaning it and doing it up which means soooooooo much hard work cause the place has not been renovated in like 3000 years.....
but one step at a time I guess...so far she is still at home and we have to get through the weekend..

Intermission

Intermission is when you are at a show or performance and the lights go on - you can go to the toilet and also get a packet of jaffas or some such stuff...
so here I am...
its intermission..
the time between performances...
all is fine.
Mother is fine.
Baby girl is going to do her first shift at a big store at Glendale tonight.
I have had a few readings to do coming in from my offer, but not many.
Painting has has to wait.
My flu symptoms have just about gone, just left with a headache and a bit of a funny ,rash.
Have learnt a lot of valuable lessons over the past few weeks -
I am feeling too censored now on blogger.
I have to be too careful - it defeats the purpose.
Like having had your private diary discovered by your parents!

Maxi Moose turns One!

Gorgeous Maximus has turned One!!!!!
So glad he is part of the family!

Swine Flu? and mother has been released..

Have been sick for days....bu dont have time to stop so have dosed up on codral cold and flu and am hoping I have not got the swine flu...
Yes Mihelle...I also know the feeling of people indesciminantly coughing all over me without so much as even thinking about covering their mouths and children looking for a new victim for their hacking and spattering and snot ridden little fingers.....
today mother came home..
I have not seen her as I am too sick to go near her and risk her getting ill too.
My brother bought her home cause she just could not handle the change.
It was taking too much out of her and she was bitterly miserable.She wanted to be at home.
What happens now?
Well I guess we will have to work harder at making her life comfortable and establish routines to make sure she is safe, fed and looked after.
This will mean a greater commitment from me and therefore I may have to make some changes to accomodate all of this.
This will not be forever, but what happens from now on is in the lap of the Gods.
My brother has made the decision that she is not suitable for aged care ( and she has made us gulit ridden for the rest of our lives for even attempting to try it ) We are screwed any way we look at it - so she may as well be happy, if this is what she wants.I hope this works.
HoooHaaa!!!!

Baby girl gets a job!

Baby girl went for a job interview on Tuesday and last night found out that she is now going to be gainfully employed by a big shop that starts with the letter between S and U at Glendale!( sorry I have to be very careful cause big brother is watching me!!!!! and I cannot mention any names ).......
boy wont she know she is alive now!!!!!

I am not trying to make trouble honestly......

Well, it seems I am at it again and trying to make trouble where it should not be...
I have had to edit one of my recent posts for reasons that are going to be left unsaid - fair enough.
Issues have been bought to my attention and I have complied.
ok.
What interests me is the way this information got "out there" beyond my small little viewing window of a handful of friends?
This poses the question, did it come from someone who is a regular to my site or has it come from an "unknown source"?
I would like to think that it has come from someone that I do not consider a friend because I do not understand why a "friend" would see fault in this meanless drivell of a blog site that means nothing to no one of great importance,to go to the trouble of doing what they did.
I would prefer to think that it is Big Brother watching...
and if that is so, then I must reconsider my views about blogging and free speech...


there was a cult where people sewed up their lips so that they could no longer talk....sounds like a plan..


In the mean time..
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WEEK'S "POST MAGAZINE YET???????????????
I AM IN IT!!!!!!!
IN "THE CANVAS" - THE FEATURED ARTIST!!!!
THIS MAY BE MY ONLY EVER FAMOUS FOUR SECONDS.........
I AM BATHING IN THE RADIANT LIGHT .....
Oh, bugger....it's gone already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Slap me, but dammit I'm going to do it anyway!

This month, the Cottage is celebrating it's 5th Anniversary - this is a huge achievement for a dream that turned into a reality for Lisa, and has affected many lives in the most positive of ways during this period.
The Cottage has changed and is offering a wide variety of services including the Year and a Day course which has proven such a great success.

Now,
I seem to have a few minutes in my life where I am doing nothing....he...he
so I am electing to put my hand up and raise some money for the Cottage in my own special way.
Therefore,
I am going to offer tarot readings by mail for a cost of $10 each with 25% of all my earnings going to the Cottage!
Please network this!
I would like to get 100 requests - therefore making a good little bonus for the Cottage coffers.
If you would like a general reading for the next few months ahead, or have some special questions that you would like answered, please send me a cheque or money order to : R.Daniel ( or put ten bucks in an envelope )AND a stamp self addressed envelope and send your request to:
please email me.......( address has been deleted )
This is a great little idea and I hope that it is successful - if all you bloggers will help and network this offer!
I will do O.S. readings for the same price ( I dont mind US Dollars or English Pounds - really )
So, lets get me 100 readings by the end of June!
Ready
Set
GO!

Visiting mother!

Well today was a horrible experience...the respite centre has been closed down for a few day, not allowing visitors because of a virus so tonight I went to see mum.
She did not recognise me at first - it took a few minutes for her to realise who I was. Then she started with the I want to die thing...I will die here if you leave me here.....I will only last three weeks!!!!
Lots of anger about why we left her there, that she knows that people are left to die in these places...
lots of lost words and lost thoughts....
just really wanting to go home.
She did not even know how to turn off her room lights and how to turn the tap on to pour herself a drink of water.
In the mean time, food was served and a lovely young fellow bought her food and tablets and then bought more food and a drink, making sure that she was able to eat it with me in her room rather than outside in the communal area.
I felt sorry for mum but the point is that she needs full time care at the moment and we cannot provide that for her - I tried to explain this, but it fell on deaf ears.
Outside, people wandered around in a shambolic way, men standing with bags - as if waiting to leave, ladies asking me if I was lost......awful.

Mum is just stuck in her chair, still feeling a lot of pain in her leg and hips not wanting to have anything to do with what is happening outside that door.
English..if I only knew English...
well mum, you had 50 years to learn...but that is a legacy of the migrant generation that arrived after the war...some of them "stayed at home" and only their bodies were here, certainly not their hearts or souls...

also the feeling of creeping souls escaping with me out that door was overwhelming..I wonder how many have died there wanting to escape, wanting to leave and in a way leaving with every departing family member who still is in the land of the living????
Kerry if you read this can you send me your email address - I have a few questions that I would appreciate running past someone with experience.....

To bag or not to bag..that is the question!

............ are now charging for plastic bags and............
I personally think its a great idea - you want a bag cause you didn't bring your own?
Then pay for it - may make you think twice next time and get those green bags out of the car.
But dont abuse me please....................
You cant imagine how many people have gotten the shits and ..........................
It's been an eye opener cause it has shown me how many people still live in the dark ages and believe that the responsibility for the safety of mother earth lies fairly and squarely in the hands of SOMEONE ELSE...
and this mostly comes from people who already have a handful of shit in other plastic bags and STILL ask for another one.
No way.......
"I AM GOING TO.......................


Dear whoever, I hope that you have come back to check this post and have noted the changes made.
Thankyou for your patronage.

Bogan Heaven!

Shades of reliving the past?
Thursday night at a shopping centre - what is it with people?
Talk about idiots coming out of the wood work!
People, stop screaming at each other!
Stop talking on your mobiles at the tops of your voices so that the whole world can hear your sordid business!
Stop yelling and pushing your kids and threatening to" punch their f***ing heads in" a metre from where I am standing.
Gross and disgusting.
Gangs of kids so out of control that the Police have to be called.
So much fun yeah????

Taking a breath..

Well mum went into Tinonee Gardens today for respite care.
This has been arranged for a duration of six weeks - by then her back should be much better and she should not be in pain, maybe the dementia will have settled down and we will know if she needs to return home or has to be placed in care.
I am really still waiting for a phone call asking me to come and pick her up cause something has gone askew - I have not seen her yet, just dont have the time, getting home after 6pm - its a bit late to waltz into the facility and disrupt dinner time..
How do I feel about it all?
Does it really matter how I feel?
Not really - it's all going to happen anyway, I just need to feel O.K. about it all, that I am doing what "I" feel I need to be doing.It will be painful to "shut up shop" that is, sell the family home and all of mum's goods and shackles while she is still alive. Maybe she will have to come home after all and we will have a reprieve...who knows..

OK......Who's got the toothpicks?

I need them to keep my eyes open...
Just finished this pic tonight..

What a blessing that the John Hunter is just up the road - I would be totally rooted if it was far away!
Today I hit the road to buy groceries, visit mum and totally wash her from tip to toe and feed her and remake her bed, then home to make lunch, then out to take down my art from "Sunny's" ( no didnt sell a thing ) and then out to Greenhills to set up for the booksale.
Home to wash clothes
and make some food for tomorrow and dabble with a painting and draw up a new one.
ENOUGH ALREADY......
Sounds like the witch's kitchen was fun!
Maybe next time I will get there?

Me and ma homies in da house! ( or ward....)

Yow dude! How they hangin man!
I is a hot mama in ward J3 with all my homies close 2 me!
Me homie dude Ron
he's 95 an goin strong
me homie bitch Bette
evry moment she forgets
me new girl Gladys
whose full of bitchin arthritis
me mum who wont be walkin
and silly things she be talkin...
me and me homies had some fun tonight
we talked some shit
and had a laugh
and then I said goodnight...

Another twist and turn in the dementia circus tent....

Well, we can now kiss the lovely little organised care facility at Tinonee Gardens goodbye as mum has been jacked up to "High Level Care" requirements.
We are back at square one now looking for nursing homes that can accomodate her needs.
Mum is still refusing to stand, complaining about pain, so they have been giving her more pain relief which is allowing her to sleep.
She seemed more settled today and back to her old complaining self.
I am going back shortly to help with her evening meal as she is not really eating much of what they give her...mind you it is probably the first time in weeks where she has consistantly had hot food three times a day.
I am now on the down hill run with providing help in this situation - from Monday my brother is on his own. I will help with whatever I can before and after work and try to visit her depending on where she goes.But for two weeks my hands are tied.

On the other side of the coin...
I will once again be exhibiting in July at SOAG ( Society of Artists Gallery at Tighes Hill ) the curators have chosen three of my paintings including "Stroud Monastery" as the pieces that they wish to show - thanks Jen!

Did I say that I had things organised?

Well...I am up shit creek alright.
Mum is proving to be a handful still playing games in between bouts of dementia.
She has been up all night moving the furniture in the hospital as she believes she is at home and is looking for her stuff - then she is refusing to walk or get up out of her chair because she has back pain.
She tells me that they are not giving her her pills which will make her walk, but when I show her her charts to say that she is getting her medication she blames me for making her into an idiot and putting her in the hospital.
She is now angry ( thanks for warning me Jade ) and blames me for her plight.
My job is to just take her home and be there for her 24/7.
That will solve the problem.
I am sure it would....
SO respite wont touch her at the moment and paperwork is being "tooed and froed" while I pick up and wash various bits of underwear and try and reorganised what has already been organised, look at nursing home vacancies, see doctors and deal with mum.
Family is coming a poor second at the moment.

So we must wait until tomorrow to see what happens next...

The good, the bad and bloody hell where am I?

Exhausted.
The respite Care is all organised. Now we wait for mum to be discharged which could happen today so I will see the doctors and wait for the outcome.
I called in yesterday to find mum in bed with her shoes on and still in the same clothes she arrived in.Obviously nurses do not have time to bathe patients anymore or in my mums case lack of communication, so I dragged her kicking and screaming to a shower and stripped and showered her under great protest. She will not move out of a chair now, too scared to fall over which means that she has made herself bed ridden.
She told me that her legs hurt too much but she also smelt awful, so a shower it was and she felt better immediately.
I left her last night believing that she was at home and wondering what all these other people were doing wandering around HER house.No amount of explaining was sinking in.
So respite may not be such a shock after all - she may actually believe she is at home.
Her mental functions seem to be vanishing as I sit and watch her.
This is such a bizarre thing - like someone fading away. Her energies have changed and there is now a vacant spot where my mother used to be.
I cleaned out her fridge, sorted and washed clothes and packed some bags last night for her and they are in the car in case she can go into respite today. How do you sort through someones lifetime and allocate to them what is important.
I wonder if she will come home?
I wonder if she will remain on this level of functioning or will it slip even further?
I did not buy a ticket for this journey - but it is here and I am on the bus!

Meanwhile, I also received a call from the local "Post" magazine yesterday. It looks like they will be featuring me in "The Canvas" (meet the artist) in their paper on June 10th, in two weeks time.So I sent them a small blurb and some photos....cool!

Pic No?Which one is it now???

This is a potrait of my sister in law's companion, Stan. This guy is a gem and has just left to go back O.S. to, hopefully, finalise his bits and pieces and then return to Oz to spend the rest of his life with her.Stan worked very hard on our front yard before he left and he has a wicked sense of "living in the moment".I really hope to see him again and relish him being part of our famly.

Meanwhile, we are moving ahead with securing respite for my mum and I will be going today to sign some papers to get this happening. Can I mention that this was only achieveable because I "know the right people"....otherwise, I did not have a hope in hell. Mum was better when I visited her last night, but she was asking me "who were all those strange people wandering around the hospital - that they kept wanting things from me"...these are the nurses...
Five mintes later she asked me again, and five minutes later she asked me again...
How she will cope with the news that she is being "put into respite" is something we will tackle today. I see a huge dummy spit coming and really, who would blame her..how does one react when they realise that their life is no longer as they have known it to be? Also she has always thought that aged care = death.

I'm going to be in a Calendar!

No....dont get excited...I will NOT be wearing a bikini or in one of those "naked lady "calendars....oh bosh!I hear you say?????

I entered a local challenge from our Art Society to enter a Newcastle themed painting to win a space in a calendar that the Society is creating to raise money for itself and the Helicopter Rescue Service for 2010.
There were 43 painting presented last night at the general meeting of the Society and over 60 members voted.
I was lucky enough to receive enough votes to get a place!
YAY!!!!
A small win along the road.
It means that I will get some exposure!
The picture that won was of my "Stockton Ferry" ( check blackdogartworks )

Going to see mum today and find out some more stuff on how I can offer assistance for her...

Things change very quickly!

Well mum went into hospital yesterday as she has been complaining about pain in her back. She is not doing very well.
I have been with her today and her decline in mental awareness has been quite severe.
I know that being taken out of her environment does not help, but, it was quite obvious to me today that her abilities to look after herself in any sustained way dissapeared over the last 24 hours.
We cannot get to the bottom of the back pain problem. Some moments it is unbearable and in the next breath she is asking me to take her to the Club.
She also swore that she was not given any pain killers, so when I asked the nurse I was told that she had already received two doses today.
She is panicked,disoriented and very angry - she says that the staff are trying to kill her and she has been left all alone for days, yet she has only been there for 24hours.
This is all pretty awful and sad to see and made more complicated as she is now hardly speaking any English.
I feel sorry for her and I am sad that this was not investigated and taken care of earlier when she could still have had an input - but, she has been as bull headed as my brother in this regard, not heeding my pleas to get these matters sorted.This should have happened after my father died three years ago, now it is going to be a horrible mess with her stuck in the middle of it all.
Bugger.....

A Trekkie Feast!

Well, I DID go and see the Star Trek movie last night - it was a hoot.
Just the type that I love to watch at the movies ( which rarely go to any more ) lots of visual effects and lots of fun to watch.
Next week I am going to see "Angels and Demons" with a friend.
If you want to see a real tear jerker - go hire out "Seven Pounds" with Will Smith and buy a box of tissues.
If anyone has a copy of "The Others" I could borrow can you bring me in a copy?
I watched this movie many years ago and then spotted it on TV last week but only managed to watch a snippet and then deleted by mistake the copy that I made - I got really hooked into it this time and now "MUST SEE IT!"
Life is a bit sad when these are the most important things in my life at the moment...I guess this is just one layer of a much more complicated life.
Lazer Force and 15 teenagers to contend with this afternoon...glad its not at my house!

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!

No time for a headache now!

I have had a bad headache since Tuesday - a throbbing behind my eyeballs like hot metal pokers being inserted and removed.
This weather has been the culprit - it has not made it possible for me to paint or really want to do anything at all.
This weekend its all about Aleks...shopping this morning for this and that before she has a party/sleepover at a friend's place ( gee I wish I was 15! ) and then she comes home tomorrow for a rest and then her Lazer Zone party in the afternoon.

We might lash out and go to the movies tonight while the baby girl is away....
Which one?
"Star Trek" of course - it looks super cool!

Went to a funeral yesterday - in all that rain.
It was awful.The father of an old friend of mine had died.
Polish funerals make you want to kill yourself - all that bosh about paying for your sins and going to eternal salvation after death. Whining about praying for the poor unclean soul of the deceased...I know why the souls departs so quickly...before the church srevice there is the reciting of the rosary for the "repose of the soul"..now THAT would want to make you leave if nothing else....

New Pic - Stroud Monastery

I hope that I have done justice to one of Jen's photos. Just a few fine tuning bits and its done!
Update - Ok. I have just posted the finished image. Adjusted the door, put in the details and added the stained glass.
Now I am happy with it!
Thanks Jen for allowing me to paint your image.
I had a lot of fun and it was a challenge.
Thanks guys.

Blah, blah and then more blah!

Well, another day - I had to attend a meeting with my managers from Calendar Club (yes...I know I have said that I will not be doing it )but I was interested to see what they had to say.
There was a lot of blah..blah..blah..interspersed with, yet again, telling me that I may be "somewhat stale" within the position and that I could do with some training.
It is obviously still my fault that I had bad sales last season ( nothing to do with no parking and refurbishment of the centre, of course ) and nothing to do with the fact that I had no stock and only the shit that they send to the "regional stores".
Yet again I spoke my mind but they really were not interested, just telling me to pick up my game before the season starts...oh and NO STOOL!!!!!Forget about sitting down - apparently it gives the customers the feeling that I dont care if I am sitting down ( I thought that telling them to"fuck off" would be the thing that conveyed that message? )
Anyway, thank you very much..I enjoyed the coffee and I shall see you later...
Mwa....
then the afternoon with mummy..
She is 85 years old but tells me that she is 83.
Of course we had to go to the Club and then to Macca's - her two favourite places in the world.
So I sat at shouting distance from her while she played the pokies - I cannot venture too far as she forgets which buttons to press and proceeds to yell across the room until I run to her assistance. I also have to supply hot chocolate and dollar coins because she cannot put notes in the machine.
Usually a bottle of Strongbow cider lessens the humiliation of being "heralded" like a serf to attend my queen.
It was also dutifully announced to all and sundry that it was her birthday by her grabbing willy nilly at everyone who ventured within a foot of her.
Bless her!
Then it was off to Macca's where we enjoyed a half burger each and tea and half an apple pie which took approximately 45 minutes to eat.
In the meantime she complained about the weather, the clothes I was wearing, that she is lonely and that I should leave my family and move in and look after her, that the weather is horrible, that those naughty children running around are annoying her, that she is lonely, that I am not dressed properly, that the weather was bad, how amazing she is ....oh should I go on?
This state of affairs is quite sad indeed and I wonder how it will all proceed...but for now the day is over and I need another bottle of Strongbow!.

The joys of self promotion!

Today was "elf" promotion day with everyone getting an email to visit my art website, sending out a few emails and other bits and pieces that I have put off doing in an effort to get my art out there...as I walays say, it might be nice to have my babies at home but they are no good to me there.
Also I had a dream that I was holding a new baby last night - this is always a sign of a new project or new beginning starting....so I really pushed myself today.
I'm not too good at doing things like this - this part always lets me down.
Im not one for this side of things - maybe that's why I have never been "successful" at anything. I have managed to do things, to conquer the skills but then I fall flat never ever getting myself out there enough...it's just not me, I am the eternal wallflower preferring to blend into the wall rather than stand in the middle of the room.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Happy Birthday baby girl!

Miss Aleksandra has turned 15 today!
She took many cakes and biscuits to share at school today and we went to Macca's for hotcakes for a breakfast treat before school.
Tonight we are heading to a Japanese Restaurant for tea tonight ( that's pretty good for Aleks ) and so she is a happy girl.
This weekend we have a "biggin" with Aleks sleeping over at another friend's place who is having a party on Saturday and then on Sunday we will be hosting a LazerForce extravaganza!
Wish I was 15 again..... ( no I dont - couldn't go through my childhood again!!!!I am still trying to get over the scars )

Eurovision "Take 2" Did I mention Sticky Date Pudding?

Yes, sticky date pudding with Caramel Sauce......and perogi and cherry vodka.
Thank God it ended at 9.30 cause I was comatose by 10pm.....
Tonight we have part two - last night was pretty tame except for a Freddie Mercury look alike wannabe in a superhero outfit and another guy in white leather....
in the mean time.....
This is my Stockton Ferry piccy...this was another really difficlt one on a larger canvas which always scares the crap out of me, but I perservered.
This one has taken me about a week with moments of panic and procrastination layered in between...

Cherry Vodka and Pierogi Night tonight!

Well, its Eurovision tonight on SBS and we will be glued to the screen to watch this extravaganza of bad taste and dreadful music!
Eurovision never dissapoints - its always a hoot and not being able to understand what they are singing just adds to the fun.
Also you must always listen carefully to the commentary - those guys are crazy!
So the Cherry Vodka and Perogi ( stuffed Polish style dumplings fried in butter and covered in sour cream ) will be on the menu.It took me three hours to make them yesterday!
Oh, just can't wait!

Happy Mother's Day from Aleks

Aleks did this fanastic picture for me for Mother's Day - she has more talent in her little finger than I will ever have!
And my big girl got me much needed slippers and house socks which I am wearing as I write!
Thanks girls....
and did I do any dishes?
Of course I did....
but not all of them.

Happy Mother's Day to you all !

Well tomorrow is supposed to be our 'day of rest' - ho hum!
So what do we do? We cook and clean and prep in advance - double the work load today so that we can get not to do anything tomorrow and hope that we may just get something more that pj's or ugg boots - because that is apparently what all mothers want ( thats what all the shops seem to have ).
I wont be getting a jot - told family not to bother, just a day together will be fine for me and only one request...
NO WASHING UP.
NONE.
NOT ONE PLATE, KNIFE, FORK...NOTHING.
Enjoy your special day ladies!

Ouchy..ouch...ouch

Love the rain...but it is quite foul for my neck and shoulders.
So, in much pain today with heat packs dotting various parts of my body.
Quite an attractive site indeed.

Do these look good enough to eat?

The Circus of lost souls presents.....

blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah etc..etc...etc...
I wont bore you all with how I am really feeling...needless to say that my head feels like it has been bitten off, chewed up by a foul mouthed bottom dwelling arse licking troll and then spat out into a pool of human excrement.

New Art works

I finished this one yesterday - was working on it at Stroud.
Also check out my daughters latest work in my side bar - bloody good eh?
I am very proud of her.

Brief weekend at Stroud

Well, I too spent some time at the Monastery at Stroud.
I had to put in some paintings to the Dobell Art show at Rathmines ( did not win )and hubby was going out for a work smoko night on Friday so I headed up to the Monastery on Saturday morning.
I must admit that the place is a little too quiet for me - I have come to understand myself as being more the "flashing lights and ringing bells" type of person - all that deep solitude does my head in...
but, none the less, we had a great time away and I had a marvelous game on Trivial Pursuit with Heidi ( while the other stick in the muds who would not play decided that they knew all the answers and kept on trying to butt in!!!)We certainly had a laugh.
Stroud is not the capital of "fun".
It has four main shops with a pub and grocery store that also sells spirits ( thank the Gods ).But the main intention to head that way is for the companionship of your friends and time to sit and think (or paint) or read in peace and quiet.
Not being able to text is a strange experience as is not having some "sound" on such as a t.v. or music....an interesting experiment indeed.

I chose mother superior's bedroom for the evening repose, but got little sleep with my bed being most uncomfortable, therefore requiring me to get up and choose a couch in the main room area for the rest of the night and proping myself and sore shoulder up on pillows...maybe the dear nun had it in for me and did not want me in her sanctuary in the first place...I DID dream of Tom Cruise...I think he was trying to convert me..

No holiday at all!

Hubby has been off for the past two weeks and with the help of my sister in laws boyfriend, they have created a minor miracle in the front yard and almost completed a retaining wall that has been waiting a considerable length of time to be finished ( about 15 years to be exact - but these things cannot be rushed).
I have decided to call it the "small wall of Fatima" as it is quite a miracle in my eyes and I must go out and buy a small statue of Mary to place at one end of it.
The front of the house is unrecognisable - I have been looking at mounds of dirt for so many years and there is now a pathway ( which will delight the local meter reader no end )and gorgeous wall.
Even though we have done it "ourselves" as such, these things turn out to be quite expensive...so that weekend at the Palazo Versace on the Gold Coast will have to wait while I spend my days thinking what I can do with a kilo of mince meat instead?????
We still have our main bathroom to work on when the man has more hoidays in a few weeks time but I would really love to get away somewhere even for a couple of days.
Meanwhile, what am I doing sitting here when I can be out the front admiring my new wall...off I go.

No Meme for meme....

Yeah I hear you...what a party pooper!!!!
But I have been in Sydney today in the energy zones of crazy people blurting ang spurting about spirituality and trying to sell me magical water and ion converters and totally silly shit ( please - I apologise if I have offened here ) but I am a bit over all the hype that goes into the sales side of things.....
I was at the Mind, Body, Spirit Festival and today is/or was the day to go - at least you could move around freely and there was a smaller amount of crazy people....
now that is my excuse for not doing the meme Wendt and by the way Jen tagged me a day or two ago so I have been just as "ignorant" there too.....
no offence girls...I may surprise you and still get it done..
but not today - I need to go and cleanse myself in my magical shower with some "magical water where my simple thoughts can just...blah..blah...blah......"

Pic No:18 for 2009

Initially I thought this was going to be easier than it turned out to be - feathers, water.....what a bugger but I am almost done here.

Great night last night!

There is awlays a lot of prep for a night like last night ( dedication night ) and even though I go over and over things in my own head to make sure that nothing is forgotten, I am sure glad when the ritual goes off without a hitch!
I was very pleased with last night - I am sure that Lisa and Diana feel equally thrilled about the evening as do all the Yaaders.
We tried to make it special.
The late night supper was a welcome relief - thanks for the pikelets and fruit Lisa!
It was lovely to see the effort in the gifts prepared..it goes to show that not always are the mose expensive gifts the most thoughtful ones....
now to set my students to task.....
I have to do you all justice...

Can you stop shopping for a minute please?

I think that Anzac Day is one of the most important days on the calendar for us Aussies and yet those arse holes that manage the big centres still feel the need to open up their stores even for just a few hours.
It's revolting.
Could we get by without a day of shopping?
Would we really starve?
Is there any cause left, at all, that deserves some homage and respect?
Obviously not - we have killed Easter, Christmas, New Years Day ......they are just another day in the year....
It amazes me how much people buy! I thought about it today, many times over, while I stood in cues at Woolies,Target, Kmart and the liquor shop.
Image our grandparents heading home from "shopping" 80 years ago with a bag of essentials only...and that probably had to last for days.
Now we just go and fill up till our trolleys are overflowing ( and you know how bloody huge the trolleys are getting now ) - its positively freaky....
Tomorrow...a day with family, a drink of thanks to the diggers, and an evening with my sisters at the Cottage - how cool!!!

Stop the world I want to get off!

Spent a few hours at the art exhibit today down at Waratah in the old Bowling Club but I must say that the patronage of it has been woeful!
We are lucky to get a few people in the door every day.
Oh well - still selling nothing!
Took Aleks to Borders where she spent $60 on two books and had coffee with a good friend.I also got a book called "The witch of Kings Cross - the story of Rosalie Norton" - it is full pics of her great paintings.
Cooked cakes and went to buy more paint brushes and arty shit.
Bought two herb plants yesterday as a start to my herb garden - a small bay leaf plant and some peppermint ( cause I loved the smell when I ripped off some leaves ).
They are currently on my kitchen window sill but will be moved to my "herb garden" which I plan to create in my back yard ( Oh I hear hubby laugh out loud, as, you see I cannot even grow dirt!)...
Tomorrow, I will go see another art teacher who has a class just down the road from me, I have go go pick up my paitings, clean up and entertain 5 x 15 year old for a "movie afternoon" - help!!!!!!

Pic No:17 for 2009 - Fort Scratchley

Just a little one to add to my collection.
Hubby called it "Pinnochio"..

Facing the oldies at the Newcastle Art Society

Today I had to present my works for appraisal at a meeting of the Newcastle Art Society so that I can become a member.
Hmmmm...this is a different group to what I already belong to - I am already a member of the Society of Newcastle Artists ( are you still with me???)

I need to belong to these things so that I can exhibit my art and get some sales - my paintings are of no use to me looking nice in the corner of my spare room, although I love them all like my children....
I had to sit through a whole meeting where photocopy amd stamp prices where discussed, motioned and seconded and my life force slowly drained away...
but the people ARE really social and nice and they had a good vibe, although I would have been about the youngest one there.
I will now have to keep my hair grey just to fit in!!!!!!

Have not done a lot of painting but am just about finished a small one which I will post in a day or two.Its of Fort Scratchley.

Doing a stint of volunteering at an exhibition at Waratah at the old Bowling Club building, near the Cottage tomorrow.
This is part of the second groups week long exhibit for the Ethnic Communities Council and I have donated my time tomorrow and Thursday to man the exhibit in case someone wants to make a purchase ( buy mine!!!! buy mine you bastards!!!)
Maybe if I am there I might talk someone into it....
Is that ethical????
My life is being guided at the moment, I just have to go with the flow.....I just wish it wasn't a torrent.....

A small show at "Sunny's"

I will be exhibiting some of my art works at "Sunny's" Cafe, Islington from 4th May.
I may even organise a opening of some sorts ( yet to talk it through with the owner )..of course you will all be invited!!!
One busy little painting lady indeed..
Have not done anything new over the last few days..too busy workng in a "real" job.
But this finishes tomorow and I can finally get some sleep and painting done.
How does one stop putting on weight? I seem to be doing a lot of that lately.......

Come on Mary!

Well did you hear about that poor Irish guy that got beaten up last year and went into a coma?
He has woken up!
A miracle!
And his parents claim that they have been praying to Mary McKillop ( see my side bar ) for over seven months!!!!!
Come on Mother Mary...is this the miracle we have been waiting for?
The Vatican refuses to make her a saint because we have needed another miracle...I put out the call quite some time ago...maybe I have been heard??????

All over the place like a dog's breakfast!

Have had a hard time getting going today - a day at home and a zillion loose ends to tidy up. Have to deliver lots of paintings at the end of the week ( a few to an exhibition and a few to a competition ).Maybe some sales will come from that...hoping!

Have just booked "The Zone" - laser force game place for my daughter's 15th birthday party for next month.Sheee!!!!
What do you do for 15 year olds????
I was not going to have them running round my house ( we really do not have the facilities ) so the alternative was to throw plenty of money at another venue...and everything else was 'so gay'...we finally compromised.

Ms.Monika

This is my Easter gift to my daughter - I hope she will like it.
I started this one on Thursday and it has been very hard work!
I have said to my hubby that I now appreciate the masters more and more when I sit down to try to put paint to canvas and make something look like it should - how DID they do it when one stroke of the brush can send everything up to buggery..

Crack of Dawn on Good Friday

The hounds of hell woke me at 6am this morning.
I threw them a bone each to shut them up only to have to get up again 15 minutes later because the useless walking throw rug had snaffled farty pug's bone and the small stinky one was letting all hell break loose.
To stop the neighbours coming round and chopping my head off, I got up to keep the peace.
Sometimes...I would rather be dogless.
Then came a session with the demented one, who forgot all her money and spent the next two hours looking in her bag for the missing $50 note that she had sworn she had put in there.
No matter how many times I told her that she must have left it at home, she would not believe me and had another look inside her bag just in case it had magically appeared in the last five minutes.
It is becomming quite evident that any time away from the home is causing her much stress and I am wondering what the next step will be.
Came home, and got my just desserts ( almond and orange cake with heaps of fresh cream ) and now I sit and digest.
Peace to the world...
P.S.The Pope was supposed to wash the feet of 'ordinary' people today but it cetainly looked lke a bunch of bishops to me...

Happy easter from the Circus Tent!

The amazing painting lady wishes you all a safe and happy Easter with lots of chocolate so that you all get a fat arse!

I will be painting tomorrow - have to finish a portrait of my daughter which I will be agonising over on very Good Friday.

Also have a date with the demented one ( my mother ) and with a slice of flourless orange and almond cake with a shit load of cream at some point when I can be by myself and drool in quiet solitude...

and a full moon ceremony tomorrow night, because witches do such things...

a day off to savour and enjoy life and to sleep in!
Blessings to you all!!

Excuse me while I swallow what's stuck in my throat.....it's called my pride!

Ooohhhh....how I hate sucking up to managers who are nit pickers and power hungry arse holes.....
how many days have I been working?
Two?
Yes..its been an ongoing saga with an old employer ( won't mention any names cause blogs are a bitch and I dont want to get sued for slander )....
So...
Last week, I got a phone call to do some work..
After the shock, I said yes of course ( money being the root of all evil ).
Today my state manager came to pay a visit and did the once over on the kiosk and paper work that I have been doing ( mind you I have had no refresher training and it has beeen two years since I did this job ).
After that, I was told other gems of stupidity that only someone who has not worked on a kiosk for any period of time could possibly dish out and told that I could only hope to get the dregs of work that no one else wants ( if I was lucky ).
This might mean that I could travel to Raymond Terrace, Greenhills ( not too far ) or the Central Coast (mmmmm...somewhat further ) as all of the top spots such as Kotara and Charlestown are already taken.
Oh and by the way...there are no guarantees that I would get anything at all, especially if I am silly enough to make any misakes in the mean time... ( watch that paperwork girl!)
To this I had to bow low and be thankful ( cause the ecomony is stuffed and no one wants a 50 year old has-been )...
So let me swallow deeply and clear my throat...

Pic No:16 for 2009

I am really happy with the way this on has come out.
This was taken at the same time and place that my seagulls were ( see last post ).
Went into town on Thursday and spoke to a guide at Fort Scatchley who gave me a terrific talk about the tunnels under the Fort. They were constructed in the very late 1800's! Wow, I thought they were dug up before WW2, but no, much earlier - seems like we were a very important place in the early 1900's with all that coal in our hillsides.
Newcastle has an amazing history - I might just go for a tour down those tunnels when I get a chance.I actually also saw a picture of the old Zaara street power station where now the housing commission flats are located near Newcastle beach - cant even remember that being there?

There used to also be coal loaders straddling King and Hunter streets so that the coal could be loaded directly onto the ships in port. How different it must have all looked back then!

Pic No : 15 for 2009

This was taken last Friday out near the Swansea bridge.
A pelican at the same location is my next project.

Busy Painting Lady!

Well my next art work is nearly done - just another day or two....
I have just been in contact with my art teacher talking about all the art stuff I am doing this month and I counted up that I will have 19 paintings on display somewhere around the area during this month!
Freaking 19!!!!!!!
Hard to believe, that just over a year ago I had not even painted one thing!

Please, please please let there be a sale somewhere......
Lisa has started me off for April - thanks Chicky babe...I hope the red family like your purchase!

First of April - I talked to my class about self realisation last night.
A mighty task for everyone to take on in their lifetime.
A call to arms - to become oneself and attain their full potential.
Indeed I have been doing this through my art work - trying to get to my full potential.
Better late than never...
Saw a guy on TV yesterday.
He was 75 and had the body of a 35 year old through exercise and weight training.
What a role model! Good on him!
Now back to my paintbrush and chocolate eclair!!!!!

2 NEW ANGELS

Goth Angel











Red Baby Angel










Just in case you thought I had not been painting!!!!

Good news - I am an exhibiting artist!

Well, I did not sell my artwork at the show.
Have just been to pick it up - but not many pieces sold, so it wasn't only me.
But,
the good news is that I am now going to be exhibiting three of my art works at a real fair dinkum Gallery at Tighes Hill from this Thursday for one month!
I went to see the owners last week and asked them to check out my web sight, and they did and got back to me on Thursday inviting me to take part in their next exhibition!
Wow!
I cant be any prouder!
We'll see how this goes eh?

TURN YOUR LIGHTS OFF!!!!!

8.30 tonight - be there or be square!
Someone's got to save the planet and the other bastards aren't interested...so its up to YOU and ME!

"House Angel"

I am sure I will burn out soon!But till then, I am painting!

Pic No : 14 for 2009

Almost done!

For Sale :"GOODNIGHT ANGEL"

I did this one today as a trial of an angel series I am considering working on.
Am happy to sell this one for $40 plus any postage and handling!

It is acrylic on Canvas
20cm x 25 cm
Gold edging and ready to hang.
Let me know if you are interested!

Whose a spoilt black doggie then?

Pic No:13 for 2009

This is my beautiful Aleksandra.
This was hard work. It was a great lesson and I was guided along the way by my teacher's advice. It did not come easy, but I am pretty happy with the result!
Portraiture is definately an art form that requires patience and skill.
I hope to get there one day!!!!

Hi Ho Hi Ho its off to "Hardly Normal" we go!

Gee... they just don't make things to last do they?
Our oven died a few days ago - we have only had it for 17 years!!!
Atrocious!!!
Could have lasted a few more years....but no, no, no...
so we had to make a mad dash around town to find a new one and I had not realised just how expensive they are?
For Christ's sake I just want to bake things...
so we ended up making a purchase at "Hardly Normal" ( better known as Harvey Norman )
and the man is busy trying to install the bastard!
I wanted to sleep in this morning after an awful night of waking due to being bitten to near death by mosquitoes but the small black dog has a built in alarm clock that rings at 6.30 every morning at which point I am to wake up and go downstairs and feed him and then entertain him.
I was not in the mood this morning and yet my darndest efforts at trying to ignore the constant barking could not be followed through as I was scared that one of the neighbours would come and complain about the noise..

Bad dreams and back pain

Had the most awful dream last night and am suffering a bit with pain the the neck and back - last night before I went to bed it became excruciating.
I guess it is a sign that the cooler weather is starting. I am always in more pain during the winter months and I had a brief reminder of it yesterday.

A tug boat is my next art project - as I managed to capture one yesterday when I headed into town for some inspiration.
I have been waiting for over a year to get a tug boat picture - never there at the right moment, so I was quite thrilled to see one tied up on the city side and flew out of the car with my camera.

My first art competition is on this weekend - The Newcastle Show.
I picked a big one to enter. There will be a lot of competitors so I am not expecting anything other than some exposure and, of course, the opportunity to sell the item.
We do get to go to a champagne and finger food night next Monday to meet the other competitiors and to see the winners get their awards.Quite thrilling.

Pic No: 12 for 2009 Lemon Tree Passage

A few weeks ago I visited Michelle at Lemon Tree Passage and took a photo of the moored boats.

Pic No:11 for 2009

This is my new one!
Newcastle Obelisk

Beautiful day at Bondi!

To tell you the truth,Bondi is just like an upmarket Newcastle beach...
It is an iconic spot in Sydney for sure, but does not outshine our beaches...one thing that was nice though was a patch of grass and trees to sit under and enjoy the view.
The shops are very average - but for a chocolate shop just opening ( heaps of these in Melbourne) - where everything is made with chocolate! The shop speciality is a spanish dipping biscuit and melted hot chocolate (YUMMMMMMMMM).They gave us a try of this delicasy and asked us to come back when they open up on Monday.
I walked passed a few of these when we were in Melbourne and never walked in.....wasn't I stupid???
We walked and walked and walked yesterday with baby girl spending stacks at Paddy's market and Sydney was inundated with sailors from all the war ships in the harbour - we watched the march past and gave them all a cheer!
All those mariners!!!!
Great fun.

Full Moon and Fri 13th - Messing with your head!

Yes...full moon does effect many of us.
I got up this morning with a new attitude and went straight into my 'studio' and finished a painting that had been sitting around for a few days..
I HAVE NOTHING TO WHINGE ABOUT.
ALL IS REALLY SO GOOD.
I am having trouble releasing fear about my art work still - I think that is where some crazy attitudes are coming from at the moment.
This step has been really big for me - for goodness sake it has taken me 30 years to make it!
So taking that into account, I should be not surprised at how I am reacting.
Talking with my 'teach' today was helpful too.
Have a good weekend folks - I will be!!!!!!!

Too boring for words...

Yes indeed I am.
Full moon and pounding headache.
faithless..
Tried to get some work this week - but failed.
Had a great day at Tanilba Bay yesterday with Deb and Maureen.
Felt some ghosties and was upset at the state of a beautiful heritage listed bulding falling apart and gathering dust.
Being ripped off $8.50 for admission ( including a "talk" about the House consisting of "the furniture is not original and don't touch anything" )and crappy tea with soggy biscuits.
None the less the company was great.
Heading to Sydney tomorrow -while the man goes to a conference I will be helping the ecomony by spending Kevin's money.

Pic No:10 for 2009 MY VERY FIRST PORTRAIT

This is a pic I took of the man about 18 years ago when we went out to Pokolbin - I gave him a Tiger Moth ride for his birthday.
Its almost finished - just some touching up to do and critique from my art teacher.
How did I go?????

Fanny Burney and the Ghostie at Tanilba House

Took a drive with Deb and Fanny Burney ( my new name for Lisa - because of a book she picked up at the bookshop with that name, plus it suits her )to Lemon Tree Backpassage to see another of the sisterhood - Michelle.
We had a lovely lunch, fantastic conversation and then headed to the local second hand book shop where Lisa was drawn to her name sake ( Fanny ).
After saying goodbye to our sweetie Michelle we decided to head out to Tanilba Bay house ( just turn right at Coles ) for a Capt.Cook.
It was closed.
Maybe a blessing?
Lisa was good enough to park while I went over the road to take a few pics of the outside of the house.
Its a well known historic site and looks quite beautiful - using the local stone in the construction.
While standing there on the grass in what must have once been a flower garden, I felt a cold shiver run down my spine, then up, then down, then all over.
I was enveloped by this..
Mmmmmm...
Yes...
A ghostie for sure!
He did not like me standing on that spot and was totally wanting me to get off.
I walked back to the car shaking him off with no success.
As I opened the car door, Deb said she felt something wierd and asked me what did I bring along this time, while Fanny motioned me out of the car saying "stay outside and leave your friend here!"
So I sat down on the grass and asked the spirit to leave ( betcha that would have looked a treat to anyone looking through their window), while Deb and Fanny locked the car doors.
Well, he left and then I was let into the car and we continued our journey home.

I think what I encountered was the old grounds caretaker and I was disrespecting his flower garden by stepping right in the middle of it, although it was just and empty patch now with uncut grass.

Any hoo, it may be worth another visit at some point a longer conversation with the ghostie of Tanilba Bay House!
Want to come along????

Pic No:9 for 2009

Catherine Hill Bay - the old Coal Loader.

Bonny Baby News

Congratulations to Helen who birthed a gorgeous new addition to her family - little "Olivia Rose".
Blessings to her and buby!!!!!

All quiet with me at the moment..
Head down and bum up - trying to finish a painting that has proven a challenge even for someone as anal as I am..
Going out to see "Judith Lucy" tomorrow night at the Newcastle City Hall.
I love her humor, so dry and ripping, and I will be sharing the evening with my sister- in -law's daughter and her partner.
We plan to go to a Vietnamese restaurant in Darby street - so a big and special night out for me indeed!!

At a low ebb...

My 50 year old brain has asked some questions to day for which there are no answers...

Niggly things that come up when I am feeling low...
Maybe my morning with mother sparked it....
Boy she must have screwed with my brain when I was little, cause it still has an impact on my life, my choices and how I view myself and the world in general.
I really do not think that it was a purposeful thing, just a survival thing.
The tactics used worked and manipulation and guilt were the way to go.
Phew..
About time I worked that stuff out of me, but sometimes it still sits there prodding me to make less than perfect decisions which then bear consequences.
Someone take the shovel from my hand and help me stop digging the hole I am finding myself in....

Was that a ghost in my room this morning???

Now, believe me when I tell you that I am one of the biggest skeptics that there is...it takes something to bang me over the head, twice, for me to believe it.
So this morning I awoke briefly to see who I thought was my husband walking out of our bedroom going off to work.
Indeed, not anything unusual.
I remember his distinct footsteps and his image was very dark, almost in silouette, featureless.
He came from around his side of the bed and straight out the door.

Trouble is, when I asked hubby about it this afternoon, he told me that he did not come to his side of the bed and when he was there the light was on and I had the covers all the way over my head...in no way would I have been able to see him go.
So therefore...
who was it????
A mystery!!!!!!

Trifle

Remember Trifle?
The last time I made trifle was about 15 years ago....
I think I have waited long enough...
Today,
I made trifle.

Pic No:8 for 2009

This is my first attempt at painting a fountain...and I picked a hard one..
Civic Park Fountain.
This one took some work with doing the background and then air brushing in water spray and overpainting water droplets..
How did I go????

The waiting is the killer.....

Cant say much today cause it all seems irrelevent considering what one of our sisters in blog land is going through today -
Dear Michelle - I ache for you and the waiting...
It throws me back to two years ago when I was sitting twisting myself into knots before finding out that the man had prostate cancer.
I am so sorry for your mum and what she must go through and for the family who have to sit back and watch it unfold.
It is truely awful...
I am hoping that there is some good news....

Meanwhile,
the small black dog is becomming a very naughty adolescent, causing fuss and mess and wanting to be the centre of attention all the time.
Cute little bugger....

Go! Hugh good thing!

Brilliant job done by an Aussie yesterday at the Oscars.
Hard pressed not to find something to like in Hugh - singing, dancing, eloquent and hunky....you just can't please some people.
Still the bashers and the critics had their say.
What spoil sports...
I loved the fact that he didn't have an American accent, but kept his Aussie style.
What a trooper.

In my quest for a photogenic Newcastle....

Ok...dont laugh all of you local people, but I am fast realising that there is a mass of Newcastle that I have never seen and its bloody beautiful!
I took a trip of discovery to Catherine Hill Bay yesterday - never been, and there is the old coal loader sitting there over the ocean.
What a great place to photograph!
What an amazing place miles of golden sands and clear water - we DO have the most brilliant beaches in the world right here.
If that spot were in Thailand, Vietnam or Indonesia there would be hundreds of hotel lining the beachfront and tourists galore fighting for a spot near the water.
In Newcastle, we want to keep it secret, shhh...... twenty people on the beach and two lifesavers....shhh too gorgoeus to share with the rest of the world for sure.

So I snapped away happily for a half hour and am hoping that I end up with one image worth painting.

Any other favourite spots out there, beaches or bays that I should be heading to girls?

By the way...
I did not sell a thing at the exhibition on Friday night.
Poo bah, humbug....
My teacher sold the lot ( 20 paintings )
What does that say?????

What a loss!!!!

This is an unfortunate tragedy of the recent bushfires.
The website is www.brunosart.com
This is from his from page..
Welcome to Bruno's Art & Sculpture Garden. Hidden amongst the trees of the small Victorian village of Marysville is a world full of fantasy, beauty and humour.

Surrounded by the magical rainforest setting, Bruno Torfs has created one of the world's most unique and deeply inspiring experiences for art and garden lovers of all ages.

With over three hundred paintings and sculptures to discover, a journey to Bruno's is one of Australia's most special attractions.
How tragic to lose a lifetime's worth of work.

Bruno is safe but over 200 paintings and his gorgeous gardens are destroyed.

D-Day for the Windswept and Interesting Artiste!!!

Well I have just got back from the Christian Den in town where they are holding my art works captive and I must say they look damn good!
There are three artists works on display plus a phographer.
All Newcastle stuff.
Tony and I and the photographer are all very traditional works and the other bloke does quite quirky very clouroful slightly abstract works.
All very nice!
They look like they will be having a packed house tonight, so I remain forver hopeful!
Must have a glass of wine tonight as I sit nervously thinking that a whole lot of people that I do not know are looking at my pictures.
Very exciting indeed.
The man's birthday tomorrow.
He is 44.
Still a baby.
We are doing pizza tomorrow night in Hamilton ( so sorry Diana that I will miss your Witch's Kitchen )probably coffee and cake at Euro Bar.
He must be pampered all day long...
I need to take some pictures of Newcastle...some really ice spots so that I can get inspired to do more paintings..
Anyone got any ideas or favourite spots that they can recommend??

Saying goodbye to the babies!

I went in to deliver my art works today ( to the Christians!!!! ).
My babies!!!!

They are going to be stared at,
Critiqued.
Snorted at.
Snoffed at.
Possibly admired.
Maybe purchased.

I cannot go to the exhibition night as it is "by ticket purchase only".
There will be a Jazz band.
And lots of Christians. Don't get me wrong -
Nothing against Christians by the way, I used to be one!

Looking up?

Just when you thought that your mighty good plan for the year ahead was looking solid...
things start going awry!
I dont understand why we have to actually pay our bills anyway..
what a stupid idea!
Just can't seem to make a living out of being windswept and interesting it seems...
maybe because I may be windswept...but not interesting.
Damn it!

So its been raining...may as well paint! Pic No 8 for 2009

This one's a little different.
Nobby's in the afternoon sunlight.














Well, can't really do much else.
Made a spinach and cheese pie.
Some washing.
Can you believe "Bewitched" is on tv?
The original.
Samantha was a doll wasn't she?
And Endora!
And the original "Ocean's Eleven" with Sammy Davis Jnr and Frank Sinatra.

Been feeling off!

Its been a painful few days with a headache developing over the last three with the meltdown coming last night.
Today I am better.
Nothing else exciting.
Applied to do some volunteer work for the Cancer Council.
Am creating a new painting.
Am wondering how Bee's tattoo went today.
I hope she is happy.
Might see some of you next week eh?
I will be in Hamilton next Monday morning as I have to put my car in for a service,
So,anyone feel like a COFFEE?????

ON
MONDAY 16th February
at 12 Noon at "The GOURMET GOOSE" (opposite Enigma) at Hamilton.
Be there or be SQUARE!!!!

P.S.Happy Valentine's Day.

Pic No:6 and Pic No:7

Well here are the last two that I will do before the art exhibition next week.
I have to take my paintings in next Wednesday for the set up to be done.

THE SEAGULL ( very original title isnt it! )













"THE PUMPHOUSE AT NEWCASTLE BEACH"









I have painted both of these on previous occassions.
And these were the two that I was doing while attempting the Cathedral picture when I was getting frustrated with it.

This pain is just too much!

I have been watching the coverage of the bushfire devastation and I just cant anymore.
Its beyond comprehension.
People have lost family
and home,
and pets.
God, its awful.
I cant think of anything else.
And there is a permanent lump in my throat.

A new week....some are starting with nothing

As I sit sourrounded by my comfortable home, fan on and doggy at my feet..I am cast into the devastation in Victoria where some people who have been through the fires are starting this week with ...nothing.
How do you do that?
I know that...you JUST DO.
But, hell, it bwould be like your identity was ripped away from you.
You are left with nothing that identifies you with who you are.
Imagine that...
We spent uears collecting our identities...this house is mine therefore I am ...a houseowner.
This child is mine...therefore I am a mother.
These clothes are mine..therefore I have bad taste in clothes ( in my case )
etc..
you would feel naked wouldn't you, without all of this?

My older daughter did a scuba diving course on the weekend....she loved it.
She's going again next weekend for some extra dives.
Maybe the man and her can go diving together.
He used to do it when I first met him 20 years ago.
Can we find a wet suit that big?

Floods and Fire

A bit apocalyptic here in the land of OZ at the moment.
Floods and fire.
Poor people.
Poor animals.
Brave volunteers and emergency workers.
I hope it all settles soon -
I dont think that they can take much more.

Spare a thought and send them your love.
IT DOES HELP!

Pic No:5 for 2009

The church is finally done.
Hallelujah!
What do you think?

ITS GONNA BE FREAKING HOT!!!!!!

The Cathedral will NOT get the better of me!!!

Well I have been working on a new pic - Christchurch Cathedral!
You probably could hear me swear from your place!
It seemed a good idea at the time, but it slowly dwindled into an exercise in patience.
It have put it aside twice now, saying to myself...bugger this!
But today I took it into the Cottage and gave it a good going over and I think I have turned the corner...
Will probably finish it by the weekend so will post it for your critique!!
Bloody Catholics!!!!!!

Frikken Fridge!

Our fridge has been on the fritz again ( this is the one we have had for onyl 16 months ). So the men came and finally taken it away to replace the compressor.
All well and good, but we now have to wait two weeks to get our fridge back.
We have received a replacement, but it is much smaller than our fridge and by the time I put back all the jars of shit that i had, the fridge was full!!!
Where do I put the actual food????????
And,
all the fresh food that we had bought over the past two weeks has slowly gone off as the fridge was never at the right temperature.
So things had to be thrown after only a day or two.
Total crap.
We have spent so much on food lately and much of it has has to be chucked cause we are too afraid to eat it.
Anyone any ideas on compensation for this loss???
I had to remove all the food from the fridge this morning and the removalists did not come till 11.30.
So all my food was sitting on the kitchen bench for 4 hours......not good.

There is certainly some deep thinking going on out there...

Boy, reading your blogs today has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
Such deep, deep thoughts.
You all need to be so proud of yourselves.
Really.
For not being shallow, or hollow ( even though some of you say that you may 'feel' that way ) it is not true, because you have dared to think below the surface and feel pain and emotion.
A good thing.
A very good thing.
I think so.
I rather feel pain than feel dead, cold and nothing.
It means that I am alive and dealing with my shit.
Not always pleasant.
Often horrible.
But the growth is always there.
Pain is a signal that you are a feeling, thinking person.
If you guys ever need an ear, I am about and happy to listen, but beware that I do not console for too long.

A life not felt.....is a life not lived.

A wonder filled Sunday.

An amazing day shared with amazing women who are really putting their heart and soul into their "Year and a Day" studies.
I will not mention the allocated "task" that we received today to complete, because I am not supposed to mention it, but the unmentionable thing has left me speechless..
how do I do this????
It was amazing to turn up on Saturday night and find my "Shave for a Cure" buddy from last year, Helen had had the same idea about cutting hair....great minds think alike!
Helen does look better than I do.
Then today Jane got in on the act with a head shave and she loks gorgeous too.

I look like someone has done one of those wierd photo manipulations with the computer where you can make the eyes look bigger or smaller etc...like "twisted whiskers" and someone has made my head almost dissappear..